Category Archives: agador

agador, anhedonia, depression

update number whatever… 😐

Agador died today. he was at least 20, and snakes like Agador usually only live to be 10 or so, so it was sort of expected, and not a real big surprise, but now the bookshelf next to the window in my office looks lopsided. Agador was a wild-caught snake that lived as a classroom science project for a few years before he came to live with us. and, yes, we named him after Hank Azaria’s character in The Birdcage.

i’ve taken the plunge, and contacted a psychiatric nurse-practitioner (in georgia, more on that later) who has prescribed bupropion, at the recommendation of my counsellor, who knows me better, but doesn’t have the necessary piece of paper that allows her to prescribe controlled substances. they tell me that it’s going to take a couple of weeks for it to start having an effect. i’ve been taking it for 3 days, and i’m pretty sure i can feel the effects already — kate (my counsellor) says that it’s a mild stimulant. georgia-doctor didn’t say anything like that, so i’m not sure who to believe — but they’re not what i expected… the big one is that i hear about new atrocities and i know how depressing they are, but instead of getting depressed (like i know i would), i just don’t care. 😕 which i don’t particularly like. also, there’s the same general kind of feeling that i had when i was taking acid, minus the hallucinations and the feeling of invincibility (which was the fun part): i’m verging on jittery and i have been going for really long walks for a couple of days; i have been EXTREMELY productive over the past couple of days, and EXTREMELY focused. they say that it takes a while for the drugs to build up in your body, but i’ve taken enough psychedelics to have a really good handle on what my body is doing, when i’m taking a new drug, and i’ve definitely noticed… something. 😒 now i have to check with the georgia-doctor to see whether or not i can take psychedelics as well. i’m not looking forward to that conversation. 😒

georgia-doctor is dr. olajumoke akinyele… which is a mouthful, but i think i’m pronouncing it correctly now that i’ve actually talked with her. english is not her first language, but i don’t know where she’s from. i’ve heard similar accents from people from zimbabwe or mozambique, but i’ve also heard similar accents from jamaica, as well. i did a fair amount of research, and discovered that there aren’t any psychiatric nurse-practitioners in the greater seattle-tacoma area who 1) are accepting new patients, and 2) accept medicare. there are NPs who are accepting new patients, but don’t accept medicare, and there are NPs who accept medicare, but aren’t accepting new patients. however, dr. akinyele is registered in the state of washington, despite the fact that she’s actually in alpharetta, georgia, and telehealth is “a thing” now, so… 😐

agador, pictures

mouse and snake

so it’s time to feed the snake again.

the last time i fed the snake, i went down to the place where i buy live mice, and they were in the middle of packing up, in preparation for closing their business down permanently. they told me that they were still going to be in the business of providing rats, mice and other vermin for feeders, but they couldn’t afford to keep the business going. they gave me a phone number, which i labeled “feeder mice james”.

mouse and snakei called the number yesterday. there was no answer, but a message said that if i left my number, they’d call me back. they never called back. this doesn’t look promising.

i called again this morning. someone answered, and they knew who i was, which is as promising as i could have expected. they said that i should come over and get mice, so i did. i went over to this random house that i have been driving past on a more-or-less regular basis for about five years, and picked up three adult mice. so far, so good.

i get home and put one of the mice in the tank with the snake. he hisses at it, and strikes at it, but is obviously not interested in the mouse as food.

currently, the mouse has taken refuge on top of the thermometer in the tank, which is probably not the best place for hiding, but who can say what goes through the mind of a prey species when they are hunted in a closed environment.

he may be interested later. one time it took four days to convince him that mice were, actually, food. once the first one goes down, the others usually follow fairly quickly. however, there is, always, the possibility that he is just not hungry, in which case he usually develops a relationship with the mouse, and they end up sleeping together. at that point, i have, in the past, just returned the mice to the store, and come back for them in a couple weeks. but because of the fact that i am now purchasing the mice from some random person, i wonder what his policies are, on accepting “returns” of “uneaten mice”. 😐