qtd

got a gig doing lights for the monkywrench puppet laboratories “Halfpenny Opera” which i’ve been hearing about and seeing bits and pieces from (at the late night cabaret, with seanjohn as Mack the Knife) for the past year. the performances are coming up pretty soon, and they’re going to be at a “professional” venue, the rendezvous jewel box on second avenue. i’ve never done lights for a “professional” show before, but the concept isn’t too difficult to understand, and i’ve run a light board before, so it won’t be anything new. it even pays a little bit, although my guess is that i’m going to be paid with comp tickets and alcohol a lot more than with money.

trolloween is coming up soon and the theme this year is "the trials of trollmetheus", and it’s a trouser affair. the fremont trollharmonic is going to perform, as well as a bunch of trolls (of course), the fire-breathing troll gods, vamolá, and the usual suspects. i’ve recently made a new acquaintance who is turning out to be a tremendous source of inspiration to me. he’s put me one step closer to being able to create the ganesha mask that i’ve been fantasizing about for 10 years or so (i’m probably going to take his mask-making workshop this spring), and is even more interesting because of his apparent survivial in spite of not having a “regular” job outside of making masks and puppets for the fremont arts council.

i recently got a catalogue from Art & Culture, which is a predominantly vaisnava resource outlet. i’ve been considering adding some of what they’ve got to the selection of stuff at hybrid elephant, but i haven’t decided what yet, although i’m not sure that i’ll offer things like the marble radhakrsna set (temple-style, for dressing and decorating) for $1800, until i’ve got some more reliable business… they’ve got everything from tablas, mridangams, sitars and tamburas to yantras, incense, t-shirts, murtis, books, and everything else imaginable. i’m slowly getting the last of the old inventory on the web site, and i’ve still got a bunch of new stuff for which i’ve still got to write pages.

the vegetable sacrifice was tremendously disappointing, and i’m still upset about it. not only that, but i’ve applied for 11 jobs so far this week and have gotten no responses, and a recruiter called me with a testing position that i’d be perfect for, except for the fact that it requires a level of coding that i’m not even close to… it’s becoming quite difficult to get beyond being depressed about things. if it weren’t for the fact of the show, and the minimal positive bump i’ve gotten from the mask-making connection, and the fact that it’s so boring to be depressed for any length of time, i’d be headed in that direction very strongly at this point… at the same time, i suppose that the fact that i’ve been able to identify the fact that i’m depressed, and i’ve been able to identify specific steps i can take to alleviate that depression is a step in the right direction.

there’s a meme that i’ve seen recently, but i’ve waited a while to post it myself. of course, the first thing i did was to delete the first two columns of interests completely and then re-do the thing, because i so do not need to be identified by interests that are universal or popular. in fact i considered deleting all of my "common" interests as well, but not for now…

meme to be added with a (non-windoesn’t) system that is unicode compliant… which would be linux this time.

How common are przxqgl’s interests

Universal
none
Popular
none
Common
buddhism (15617)
christianity (20587)
drugs (27628)
fun (37934)
god (47010)
incense (16070)
jazz (48502)
linux (13616)
magick (14044)
meditation (17146)
peace (28964)
religion (29338)
truth (16403)
yoga (28744)
Specialist
abandoned buildings (2703)
alchemy (2994)
aleister crowley (1692)
anarchism (3154)
anti-war (6357)
artist (1108)
beatniks (1311)
bliss (1452)
boobies (4178)
cannabis (1527)
christian death (2907)
composing (3597)
dada (3075)
dali (5574)
discordianism (1197)
electronic music (4878)
fasting (2812)
frank zappa (4153)
gnosticism (1533)
hinduism (2959)
india (5540)
islam (2217)
kabbalah (1552)
kali (1101)
keyboards (4828)
king crimson (2322)
macintosh (5496)
metaphysics (5037)
mp3 (7079)
mysticism (4694)
naked (3204)
nipples (3703)
opium (1287)
pipes (2012)
reason (1823)
reincarnation (3853)
rumi (1370)
sculpture (6430)
spirit (2460)
spiritualism (1258)
synthesizers (2832)
tao (1521)
unity (2722)
unix (5476)
utopia (1372)
Unusual
asceticism (194)
atman (46)
aum (115)
avatar (189)
bhagavad gita (158)
brain injury (48)
breath control (146)
chanting (578)
dalai lama (638)
deities (278)
devolution (62)
dharma (552)
emperor norton (153)
esoteric christianity (39)
fire poi (192)
fnord (826)
gamelan (198)
ganesha (266)
garuda (109)
guru (202)
hanuman (58)
hoodoo (171)
indian music (578)
invisible college (17)
kriya yoga (19)
legalization (313)
mantra (165)
meher baba (32)
monism (91)
neem karoli baba (15)
om (629)
opium dens (70)
pranayama (122)
puja (30)
ramakrishna (25)
renunciation (14)
responsibility (672)
sadhana (28)
samadhi (95)
samples (283)
sanskrit (501)
sex outside (47)
shiva (858)
sitar (482)
statues (526)
study (485)
sufism (663)
swami vivekananda (25)
swastika (70)
tibetan buddhism (348)
upanishads (90)
veda (26)
vishnu (131)
whirling dervishes (43)
yoga sutras (11)
yogananda (28)
Rare
adi shankara (2)
american surrealism (3)
bardel thodol (1)
being a happy freak (3)
bizarre music (9)
chhandogyaupanishad (1)
cirque de flambe (2)
identity management (2)
jagannatha (6)
mata amritanandamayi (6)
moorish science (4)
murtis (3)
paramhansa yogananda (6)
poly-monotheism (2)
sanatan dharma (5)
sankirtan (7)
sat guru (2)
sivaism (3)
tirukural (4)
vaisnava (2)
vivekachudamani (1)
yamuna (5)
? ???????? ??? (1)
? ??? ????? (1)
? ??????????? ??? (1)


Enter username:

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63

this is why i’m depressed: i plan for months, pretty much ever since i get out of the hospital… i send out notifications a month in advance and a week in advance, i say that it’s going to happen rain or shine, and still i was the only person at the vegetable sacrifice! and then i got back in time to be invited to go and see team america with moe and scott and nancy, and while it had some extremely funny parts, it also had a vomit scene that puts the one in the meaning of life to shame (in spite of the fact that the vomit was coming out of a puppet), and overall, it wasn’t funny enough to offset the fact that i put a lot of energy into something that totally bombed… and then moe left to go do treatments at the clinic and then she’s going out for sushi with a woman that she’s trading dog lessons for sushi with, so i’m alone and depressed.

i don’t say this often, but fuck!

62

today is the ritual vegetable sacrifice… 1st real sacrifice since my injury… there was a vegetable sacrifice last year, but only one person other than me showed up. it’s 10:30 am, and the ceremony starts at 1:00 pm, i have to be there at 12:00. at this point, i’ve had two people say they might show up, but it’s been raining all morning – it’s not raining now, though. i said that we would have a sacrifice whether it was raining or not… we’ll just have to see.

urg

the past few days have been spent more or less successfully fighting off depression…


all told i applied for 17 jobs this week, but i don’t have any prospects yet, and i’ve got to do it all over again next week. i talked with the woman at sacred traditions and she said that she would probably be placing an order for incense, unlike what she said last time i talked with her a couple of years ago, shortly after they first opened, when she said that the only incense they were going to carry was their own brand. i also talked with the manager of stargazer’s, but there’s no telling what she really thought… she asked me about palo santo, which is not really an incense, but i can get it, if she wants to buy a whole bunch of it.

it’s difficult, though… a lot of people are out of work around here, plus i’ve got a brain injury, which doesn’t make a lot of difference to me (apart from the fact that i still can’t type as fast as i used to, and sometimes i either don’t or can’t say things in an understandable way, and once i’ve said whatever it is, i’m just as confused about it as the people who are listening to me, and i don’t know why), but who knows how much difference it will make to the person who has to choose between my resume and the one of someone who is not brain-injured. and that’s not to mention the fact that i’m already predisposed towards depression, even before my injury. so far i have been, as i said, more or less successful, but i’m not sure how much longer i can be so, especially if things continue to go the way things have been going recently.

i keep getting random catalogues in the mail. it’s probably because of hybrid elephant, but it’s still strange. recently i’ve gotten two different catalogues from suppliers of packaging materials, boxes and lables, and today i got a catalogue addressed to “gifts and accessories buyer” for “enchanted world of boxes” which is really strange… it’s “polish boxes”, not boxes for packing things in… kind of decorative, keep gifts in, or perhaps give them as gifts type of boxes.

magick was in a big hurry to rush out into the back yard last night, and caught one of her toes in the groove for the sliding glass door and ripped out her toenail. with both her knees having been surgerized recently, that only leaves her with one leg that is not injured in some way. moe has been really upset about it, primarily because magick’s been going stir crazy with being kept in her kennel all the time for her knees, and now that she’s allowed to start working again, this toenail thing comes up.

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Shiva Panchakshara Stotra Mantra

Stotra 1:
Nagendra Haaraaya Thrilochanaaya
Bhasmaanga Raagaaya Maheshvaraay
Nityaaya Suddhaaya Digambaraaya
Tasmai Nakaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I offer my humble salutations to Lord Mahesvara – who has a garland of serpents around the neck; who has three eyes; whose body is covered with ash (vibhuti); who is eternal; who is pure; who has the entire sky as His dress and who is embodies as the first letter Na.

Stotra 2:
Mandaakini Salila Chandana Chaarthitaaya
Nandeesvara Pramatha Naatha Mahesvaraaya
Mandaara Pushpa Vahu Pushpa Supoojitaaya
Tasmai Makaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I bow to Lord Mahesvara, who is embodied as Makaara (letter Ma), whose body is anointed with holy waters from the river Ganges and sandal paste, who is the sovereign king of the Pramatha Ganas and who is adorned with innumerable divine flowers such as Mandaara.

Stotra 3:
Shivaaya Gauri Vadana Aravinda
Sooryaaya Dakshaadhvara Naashakaaya
Sree Neelakantaaya Vrisha Dhvajaaya
Tasmai Shikaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I offer my salutations to Lord Shiva, who is the resplendent sun for mother Gauri`s lotus face, who is the destroyer of Daksha`s sacrificial ritual, who is the blue necked Lord (due to the Haalahala poison which He agreed to consume), whose banner bears the emblem of a bull and who is embodied as the letter Shi.

Stotra 4:
Vasishta Kumbhodbhava Gautamaaya
Muneendra Devaarchita Sekharaaya
Chandraarka Vaishvaanara Lochanaaya
Tasmai Vakaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I prostrate before the God of Gods, who is worshipped and prayed to by great sages such as Vashishta, Agastya and Gautama, whose eyes are sun, moon and the fire and who is embodied as Vakaara (letter Va).

Stotra 5:
Yajna Swaroopaaya Jataadharaaya
Pinaaka Hasthaaya Sanaatanaaya
Divyaaya Devaaya Digambaraaya
Tasmai Yakaraaya Namah Shivaaya

Prostrartions to the sacred Lord who is the Yaksa incarnate, whose hairs are long and matted, who holds Pinaaka (trident) in His hand, who has the entire sky as His attire and who is embodied as the letter Ya.

Stotra 6:
Panchaaksharam Idam Punyam
Yah Pateh Shiva Sannidhau
Shivaloka Mavaapnothee
Shivena Saha Modate

Whoever repeats this prayer composed with the five holy letters before Lord Shiva, attains that supreme abode of His and enjoys the eternal Bliss.

http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html

that led me to this…

http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html

and so i’m getting one. i’m also getting a plush nyarlethotep…

and, finally, http://www.necfiles.org/ is the place where you can discover the background for all of this.

http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus.html – tree octopus? i can’t tell whether it’s serious or just someone with a lot of time on their hands… The TRUTH About “Belgium” tends to make me think that it’s someone with a lot of time on their hands… a lot of free time… oy…

http://www.freedomware.us/stars/microshaft/index.php – he’s a wacko, but he’s an interesting wacko… kind of like the guy at http://www.digicrime.com/ – but only if you’re using windoesn’t and internet exploder.

p.s. i need the following frank zappa CDs to complete my collection: Uncle Meat, Waka Jawaka, Hot Rats, Burnt Weenie Sandwich, Chunga’s Revenge, Shut Up N’ Play Yer Guitar, Strictly Genteel and The Grand Wazoo. they’re officially going on my wish list, if anybody’s interested.

60

Name a CD you own that no-one else on your friends list does:
????? ????? by Anuradha Paudwal

Name a book you own that no-one else on your friends list does:
how about five books:
De Arte Magica by Aliester Crowley
The Philokalia
?????????????
The Boo Hoo Bible
The Books of Tina Chopp
??????????? by Adi Shankaracharya

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no-one else on your friends list does:
The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T

the enlightened rantings of a brain damaged freak