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Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that Band:

the band: frank zappa

Are you female or male: i’m a beautiful guy

Describe yourself: i’m the slime

How do some people feel about you: strictly genteel

How do you feel about yourself: dumb all over (a little ugly on the side)

Describe your ex girlfriend: the toads of the short forest

Describe your current girlfriend: teen-age prostitute

Describe where you want to be: the village of the sun

Describe what you want to be: evelyn, a modified dog

Describe how you live: can’t afford no shoes

Describe how you love: broken hearts are for assholes

Share a few words of wisdom: what ever happened to all the fun in the world?

93

much as i hate to do this, at the same time, i’m that close to obtaining a free ipod, or so they claim, so forgive me if you’re offended by things like this, but i’ve got to see how far they’ll really go…

there’s this site that claims to be giving away free iPods (i haven’t seen mine yet, but they’re reporting it on TV as a genuine offer, so it’s either a genuine offer or they’ve pulled the wool over more peoples’ eyes than just me)…

all you have to do is join and complete an online offer (which means submitting your email address to thousands of potential spammers, so be sure to use a throw-away email address), and then refer friends to do the same (like what i’m doing now). i know it’s verging on spam, but bear with me, okay?

to help me get my iPod, click this exact link to join, or copy and paste it into a browser: http://www.freeipods.com/?r=12545079

have fun and beware of spam. who knows… i may actually get a free ipod out of the deal.

92

i just came from the annual close-of-season meeting/potluck/party for the cirque de flambé… it turns out we’re not playing in spokane for first night, because they didn’t bid for a band, so that’s one thing i don’t have to worry about. consensus among the attendent rabble was that it would be a good idea for us to come up with a 5-year-plan for the cirque, because 1) bizarre and exotic places like brazil, oman, and the united arab emirates have expressed interest in having us go and perform for them – really, no shit… and 2) the cirque du soleil has filed an appeal on our copyright (which they contested to begin with, but was given to us anyway), which means that maque is going to have to find an attorney who knows what colour paper to file his briefs on, otherwise they’re going to be summarily thrown out. i bought two cirque de flambé belt buckles…

and then i find out that i’m getting a belt buckle, complete with belt, as a part of my costume for Big Bois With Poise, so now i’ve got two extras… i can’t decide whether i want to give them as presents, sell them, or hang on to them until after the copyright fiasco has been straightened out…

DVR, the Department of Vocational Rehabilitation, has become interested in the fact that i’m "unemployed" (although i gather that’s somewhat of a politically incorrect term these days, in spite of the fact that it’s true) since my injury. they gave me a list of professions that are "in demand" and a list of professions that are "in decline", from which i’m supposed to choose, or something like that… the problem is that musicians are listed on the "in demand" side of the list, but musical directors and composers and musical instrument repairers are listed on the "in decline" side, which strikes me as pretty pointless… sure, you can have all the musicians you like, but they can’t play anything, there’s no one to lead them, and even if they could play something, their horns are broken and there’s nobody to fix them… also art directors and graphic designers are "in demand" but graphic artists are "in decline", which makes me think that the list is put together by the crazy person they keep under the dome in olympia… maybe they expect the actual graphic art to just appear or something… and i’m just sniffing around the edges at this point. DVR has just taken my application last week, and they’ve got a 9 month waiting list for people who have "category 1" disabilities, which are the most severe… and in spite of the fact that i can prove that my brain actually exploded, i don’t think they’re going to classify my disability as "category 1".

i’ve already got updates on the absurd thing that happened to me web page, but nothing substantial. i just found out the likely reason for the screwup… it doesn’t make it any less absurd, though… in fact, it makes it even moreso.

91

georgeanne clark died november 25, and today was her wake… she would have approved, except that she would not have had the party be intoxicant free, which it was, for the benefit of those “family members” who choose to be abstinent at this point in time… if she had been there personally, she would have been sucking up the intoxicants of various varieties, both legal and illegal, with the best of them. i went, and saw for very likely the last time, the vastly extended (distended?) dysfunctional quasi-family of which georgia was mother/grandmother/drug dealer, all in one place. i’m pretty sure that’s a good thing, too, because much as everyone was putting on a good face for georgia, i could tell almost immediately upon walking in to the house that there are hatreds that run extremely deep among some of those people. i saw jim for the first time since my injury. he was one of the people i was talking about whose hatreds run deep… i sat in on the edge of a conversation with tall paul, gunnar and jim where they were talking about the direction georgia’s house had gone since gunnar and tall paul moved out. my philosophy generally is to avoid speaking evil of the dead. they set up music gear, and gunnar and matt and joe and leonard and a girl that played mandolin whose name i don’t remember, but probably should, played… i would have played except they didn’t have a keyboard, and i couldn’t remember the chords even if they had had one. tall paul is looking a lot better than he was the last time i saw him, but then, the last time i saw him, he was living in his truck which was parked next to georgia’s house. matt has cut his hair, and moved to california. he’s a good deal balder than he was the last time i saw him, as well… snicker…

the fremont philharmonic played for the 132nd Annual Lighting of Lenin in fremont last night, and next saturday and sunday they’re having a fund raiser for the 2005 moisture festival at hale’s ales in fremont, where the fremont phil is performing at least three times in various different forms. also, there’s going to be an art sharing in bellingham on friday, which in which i’m planning on performing, and i have to do some final tweaks on kenyth’s flute while i’m there. supposedly we’re playing for winter feast, which, i believe, is the 21st, and again, supposedly, we’re playing first night in spokane on 1 january, but i haven’t heard anything definite about either one, and i’m not too enthusiastic about either performance. the winter feast is another one of those “good old boy” events where, if you’re not one of the “good old boys” you’re not invited, except in my case i’m invited because i play in the band that’s providing entertainment… moe and i went to winter feast 2 years ago, when the phil played, and it was a typical pagan community gathering, which is to say, not worth moe and i not even being invited if it weren’t for the phil. i was even sworn to secrecy about the location of winter feast until after it was over, for fear that “unauthorised” people would show up… it was the segway, by the way, which is probably where it’s going to be again this year… i’m not too enthusiastic about first night in spokane because it’s an overnight gig, but they’re only providing us with 5 motel rooms, and i probably will have to attend without moe, which is a miserable way to spend the new year… but i haven’t heard anything definite about either one, so i might as well say i don’t know anything.

also, this absurd thing happened to me the other day… so absurd that i had to post a separate web page about it… it’s that absurd… really!

90

thanks to , the Patron of Inflatable Reindeer of The Church of Tina Chopp, and because this is, among other things, the season of Bizarre Holidays…

" tried to do the Silly Fake Mustache Meme last month, but I’m not sure how well it got off the ground. Maybe I’ll have better luck with it, because everyone seems to think I’m cool for some reason. Hey, if we’re lucky it could turn into the next Veginostrum — or at least confuse the hell out of folks browsing the Recent LiveJournal Images page."

(that’s by the way, i have no illusions about whether people think i’m cool or not.)

  1. Download kingnose.pdf.
  2. Take a picture of yourself impersonating the King of All Cosmos.
  3. Post the picture in your journal.

the enlightened rantings of a brain damaged freak