All posts by przxqgl

qtd

got a gig doing lights for the monkywrench puppet laboratories “Halfpenny Opera” which i’ve been hearing about and seeing bits and pieces from (at the late night cabaret, with seanjohn as Mack the Knife) for the past year. the performances are coming up pretty soon, and they’re going to be at a “professional” venue, the rendezvous jewel box on second avenue. i’ve never done lights for a “professional” show before, but the concept isn’t too difficult to understand, and i’ve run a light board before, so it won’t be anything new. it even pays a little bit, although my guess is that i’m going to be paid with comp tickets and alcohol a lot more than with money.

trolloween is coming up soon and the theme this year is "the trials of trollmetheus", and it’s a trouser affair. the fremont trollharmonic is going to perform, as well as a bunch of trolls (of course), the fire-breathing troll gods, vamolá, and the usual suspects. i’ve recently made a new acquaintance who is turning out to be a tremendous source of inspiration to me. he’s put me one step closer to being able to create the ganesha mask that i’ve been fantasizing about for 10 years or so (i’m probably going to take his mask-making workshop this spring), and is even more interesting because of his apparent survivial in spite of not having a “regular” job outside of making masks and puppets for the fremont arts council.

i recently got a catalogue from Art & Culture, which is a predominantly vaisnava resource outlet. i’ve been considering adding some of what they’ve got to the selection of stuff at hybrid elephant, but i haven’t decided what yet, although i’m not sure that i’ll offer things like the marble radhakrsna set (temple-style, for dressing and decorating) for $1800, until i’ve got some more reliable business… they’ve got everything from tablas, mridangams, sitars and tamburas to yantras, incense, t-shirts, murtis, books, and everything else imaginable. i’m slowly getting the last of the old inventory on the web site, and i’ve still got a bunch of new stuff for which i’ve still got to write pages.

the vegetable sacrifice was tremendously disappointing, and i’m still upset about it. not only that, but i’ve applied for 11 jobs so far this week and have gotten no responses, and a recruiter called me with a testing position that i’d be perfect for, except for the fact that it requires a level of coding that i’m not even close to… it’s becoming quite difficult to get beyond being depressed about things. if it weren’t for the fact of the show, and the minimal positive bump i’ve gotten from the mask-making connection, and the fact that it’s so boring to be depressed for any length of time, i’d be headed in that direction very strongly at this point… at the same time, i suppose that the fact that i’ve been able to identify the fact that i’m depressed, and i’ve been able to identify specific steps i can take to alleviate that depression is a step in the right direction.

there’s a meme that i’ve seen recently, but i’ve waited a while to post it myself. of course, the first thing i did was to delete the first two columns of interests completely and then re-do the thing, because i so do not need to be identified by interests that are universal or popular. in fact i considered deleting all of my "common" interests as well, but not for now…

meme to be added with a (non-windoesn’t) system that is unicode compliant… which would be linux this time.

How common are przxqgl’s interests

Universal
none
Popular
none
Common
buddhism (15617)
christianity (20587)
drugs (27628)
fun (37934)
god (47010)
incense (16070)
jazz (48502)
linux (13616)
magick (14044)
meditation (17146)
peace (28964)
religion (29338)
truth (16403)
yoga (28744)
Specialist
abandoned buildings (2703)
alchemy (2994)
aleister crowley (1692)
anarchism (3154)
anti-war (6357)
artist (1108)
beatniks (1311)
bliss (1452)
boobies (4178)
cannabis (1527)
christian death (2907)
composing (3597)
dada (3075)
dali (5574)
discordianism (1197)
electronic music (4878)
fasting (2812)
frank zappa (4153)
gnosticism (1533)
hinduism (2959)
india (5540)
islam (2217)
kabbalah (1552)
kali (1101)
keyboards (4828)
king crimson (2322)
macintosh (5496)
metaphysics (5037)
mp3 (7079)
mysticism (4694)
naked (3204)
nipples (3703)
opium (1287)
pipes (2012)
reason (1823)
reincarnation (3853)
rumi (1370)
sculpture (6430)
spirit (2460)
spiritualism (1258)
synthesizers (2832)
tao (1521)
unity (2722)
unix (5476)
utopia (1372)
Unusual
asceticism (194)
atman (46)
aum (115)
avatar (189)
bhagavad gita (158)
brain injury (48)
breath control (146)
chanting (578)
dalai lama (638)
deities (278)
devolution (62)
dharma (552)
emperor norton (153)
esoteric christianity (39)
fire poi (192)
fnord (826)
gamelan (198)
ganesha (266)
garuda (109)
guru (202)
hanuman (58)
hoodoo (171)
indian music (578)
invisible college (17)
kriya yoga (19)
legalization (313)
mantra (165)
meher baba (32)
monism (91)
neem karoli baba (15)
om (629)
opium dens (70)
pranayama (122)
puja (30)
ramakrishna (25)
renunciation (14)
responsibility (672)
sadhana (28)
samadhi (95)
samples (283)
sanskrit (501)
sex outside (47)
shiva (858)
sitar (482)
statues (526)
study (485)
sufism (663)
swami vivekananda (25)
swastika (70)
tibetan buddhism (348)
upanishads (90)
veda (26)
vishnu (131)
whirling dervishes (43)
yoga sutras (11)
yogananda (28)
Rare
adi shankara (2)
american surrealism (3)
bardel thodol (1)
being a happy freak (3)
bizarre music (9)
chhandogyaupanishad (1)
cirque de flambe (2)
identity management (2)
jagannatha (6)
mata amritanandamayi (6)
moorish science (4)
murtis (3)
paramhansa yogananda (6)
poly-monotheism (2)
sanatan dharma (5)
sankirtan (7)
sat guru (2)
sivaism (3)
tirukural (4)
vaisnava (2)
vivekachudamani (1)
yamuna (5)
? ???????? ??? (1)
? ??? ????? (1)
? ??????????? ??? (1)


Enter username:

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63

this is why i’m depressed: i plan for months, pretty much ever since i get out of the hospital… i send out notifications a month in advance and a week in advance, i say that it’s going to happen rain or shine, and still i was the only person at the vegetable sacrifice! and then i got back in time to be invited to go and see team america with moe and scott and nancy, and while it had some extremely funny parts, it also had a vomit scene that puts the one in the meaning of life to shame (in spite of the fact that the vomit was coming out of a puppet), and overall, it wasn’t funny enough to offset the fact that i put a lot of energy into something that totally bombed… and then moe left to go do treatments at the clinic and then she’s going out for sushi with a woman that she’s trading dog lessons for sushi with, so i’m alone and depressed.

i don’t say this often, but fuck!

62

today is the ritual vegetable sacrifice… 1st real sacrifice since my injury… there was a vegetable sacrifice last year, but only one person other than me showed up. it’s 10:30 am, and the ceremony starts at 1:00 pm, i have to be there at 12:00. at this point, i’ve had two people say they might show up, but it’s been raining all morning – it’s not raining now, though. i said that we would have a sacrifice whether it was raining or not… we’ll just have to see.

urg

the past few days have been spent more or less successfully fighting off depression…


all told i applied for 17 jobs this week, but i don’t have any prospects yet, and i’ve got to do it all over again next week. i talked with the woman at sacred traditions and she said that she would probably be placing an order for incense, unlike what she said last time i talked with her a couple of years ago, shortly after they first opened, when she said that the only incense they were going to carry was their own brand. i also talked with the manager of stargazer’s, but there’s no telling what she really thought… she asked me about palo santo, which is not really an incense, but i can get it, if she wants to buy a whole bunch of it.

it’s difficult, though… a lot of people are out of work around here, plus i’ve got a brain injury, which doesn’t make a lot of difference to me (apart from the fact that i still can’t type as fast as i used to, and sometimes i either don’t or can’t say things in an understandable way, and once i’ve said whatever it is, i’m just as confused about it as the people who are listening to me, and i don’t know why), but who knows how much difference it will make to the person who has to choose between my resume and the one of someone who is not brain-injured. and that’s not to mention the fact that i’m already predisposed towards depression, even before my injury. so far i have been, as i said, more or less successful, but i’m not sure how much longer i can be so, especially if things continue to go the way things have been going recently.

i keep getting random catalogues in the mail. it’s probably because of hybrid elephant, but it’s still strange. recently i’ve gotten two different catalogues from suppliers of packaging materials, boxes and lables, and today i got a catalogue addressed to “gifts and accessories buyer” for “enchanted world of boxes” which is really strange… it’s “polish boxes”, not boxes for packing things in… kind of decorative, keep gifts in, or perhaps give them as gifts type of boxes.

magick was in a big hurry to rush out into the back yard last night, and caught one of her toes in the groove for the sliding glass door and ripped out her toenail. with both her knees having been surgerized recently, that only leaves her with one leg that is not injured in some way. moe has been really upset about it, primarily because magick’s been going stir crazy with being kept in her kennel all the time for her knees, and now that she’s allowed to start working again, this toenail thing comes up.

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??????? ??????? ????????? ????? ?????? ??? ????? ? 1 ?

????????????????????????? ????????????????? ????????? ?
???????????????????????????? ????? ?????? ??? ????? ? 2 ?

????? ??????????????????????? ??????????????? ?
????????????? ????????? ????? ??????? ??? ????? ? 3 ?

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???????????????????????? ????? ?????? ??? ????? ? 4 ?

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Shiva Panchakshara Stotra Mantra

Stotra 1:
Nagendra Haaraaya Thrilochanaaya
Bhasmaanga Raagaaya Maheshvaraay
Nityaaya Suddhaaya Digambaraaya
Tasmai Nakaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I offer my humble salutations to Lord Mahesvara – who has a garland of serpents around the neck; who has three eyes; whose body is covered with ash (vibhuti); who is eternal; who is pure; who has the entire sky as His dress and who is embodies as the first letter Na.

Stotra 2:
Mandaakini Salila Chandana Chaarthitaaya
Nandeesvara Pramatha Naatha Mahesvaraaya
Mandaara Pushpa Vahu Pushpa Supoojitaaya
Tasmai Makaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I bow to Lord Mahesvara, who is embodied as Makaara (letter Ma), whose body is anointed with holy waters from the river Ganges and sandal paste, who is the sovereign king of the Pramatha Ganas and who is adorned with innumerable divine flowers such as Mandaara.

Stotra 3:
Shivaaya Gauri Vadana Aravinda
Sooryaaya Dakshaadhvara Naashakaaya
Sree Neelakantaaya Vrisha Dhvajaaya
Tasmai Shikaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I offer my salutations to Lord Shiva, who is the resplendent sun for mother Gauri`s lotus face, who is the destroyer of Daksha`s sacrificial ritual, who is the blue necked Lord (due to the Haalahala poison which He agreed to consume), whose banner bears the emblem of a bull and who is embodied as the letter Shi.

Stotra 4:
Vasishta Kumbhodbhava Gautamaaya
Muneendra Devaarchita Sekharaaya
Chandraarka Vaishvaanara Lochanaaya
Tasmai Vakaaraaya Namah Shivaaya

I prostrate before the God of Gods, who is worshipped and prayed to by great sages such as Vashishta, Agastya and Gautama, whose eyes are sun, moon and the fire and who is embodied as Vakaara (letter Va).

Stotra 5:
Yajna Swaroopaaya Jataadharaaya
Pinaaka Hasthaaya Sanaatanaaya
Divyaaya Devaaya Digambaraaya
Tasmai Yakaraaya Namah Shivaaya

Prostrartions to the sacred Lord who is the Yaksa incarnate, whose hairs are long and matted, who holds Pinaaka (trident) in His hand, who has the entire sky as His attire and who is embodied as the letter Ya.

Stotra 6:
Panchaaksharam Idam Punyam
Yah Pateh Shiva Sannidhau
Shivaloka Mavaapnothee
Shivena Saha Modate

Whoever repeats this prayer composed with the five holy letters before Lord Shiva, attains that supreme abode of His and enjoys the eternal Bliss.

http://www.logicalcreativity.com/jon/plush/01.html

that led me to this…

http://www.toyvault.com/cthulhu/plush_cthulhu.html

and so i’m getting one. i’m also getting a plush nyarlethotep…

and, finally, http://www.necfiles.org/ is the place where you can discover the background for all of this.

http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus.html – tree octopus? i can’t tell whether it’s serious or just someone with a lot of time on their hands… The TRUTH About “Belgium” tends to make me think that it’s someone with a lot of time on their hands… a lot of free time… oy…

http://www.freedomware.us/stars/microshaft/index.php – he’s a wacko, but he’s an interesting wacko… kind of like the guy at http://www.digicrime.com/ – but only if you’re using windoesn’t and internet exploder.

p.s. i need the following frank zappa CDs to complete my collection: Uncle Meat, Waka Jawaka, Hot Rats, Burnt Weenie Sandwich, Chunga’s Revenge, Shut Up N’ Play Yer Guitar, Strictly Genteel and The Grand Wazoo. they’re officially going on my wish list, if anybody’s interested.

60

Name a CD you own that no-one else on your friends list does:
????? ????? by Anuradha Paudwal

Name a book you own that no-one else on your friends list does:
how about five books:
De Arte Magica by Aliester Crowley
The Philokalia
?????????????
The Boo Hoo Bible
The Books of Tina Chopp
??????????? by Adi Shankaracharya

Name a movie you own on DVD/VHS/whatever that no-one else on your friends list does:
The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T

nop

blah blah blah…

debates: didn’t watch them. i’m probably going to vote for badnarik. I872: no, I884: no, I892: yes, R55: reject, I297: yes. unenjoyment has mandated that i go to “job hunter orientation” and “job search preparation” classes, which i need about as much as i need another hole in my head, but if i don’t go, they deny my meagre unemployment check, which is now half of what it was, and will probably last another 6 months. meanwhile i’ve applied for 13 jobs so far this week, but no possibilities at this point. we’re doing allad’din at the tacoma mall in december, because they want us to perform, but babes in the wood is not ready yet. music, but nothing amazing yet.

nid

i went to bellingham yesterday and came back today. i saw darol and collette, and gave them my old imac. they’re both so computer illiterate that they may actually be able to use it for something. i certainly can’t anymore, and it’s just as well that i gave it to collette and darol, because i was thinking about how else i might get rid of it. i stayed at serendipity last night, with ken and kamalla, and their housemates lucy and phyllis. there was an art sharing last night, and ken, kennyth and i played together in celebration of 25 years of playing together… and now that i come to think about it, that was our second public performance, too… the first one was at the end of the show and everybody left during it, except for ken yanik, who was asleep. i also saw david mason, who has parkinsons disease now, but i understand that he still has moments where he is as bright as he’s ever been. leslie conton was there, also. ken has a new friend, by way of phylis, who is a very young guy named aaron (yes, another one) who may be the third member of and more. i’m currently playing a piece that ken, aaron and i did with reason, that’s pretty amazing. i started out with the original sound, then ken took over and made his part of it, then aaron tried his hand… we went back and forth all morning with it, and it turns out that there’s a whole genre of music called "glitch" which it fits into very nicely. if you’ve got reason, here is a link where the rps is located, but if you don’t, then you might as well not bother.

kamalla has this fantasy of turning the property that the blue house, kennyth’s house, serendipity, the yellow house that i lived in, the wind-up neighbor’s house (which was owned by kathy veterane, and is now owned by karl meyer), and the field on the other side of the yellow house, into a combination intentional community and teaching center. i have heard a number of wild-ass schemes for doing that kind of thing in varions different parts of bellingham throughout the years, but if anyone’s going to do it, i think that kamalla has a better chance of it than anyone else i know about. she’s got enough interest already that some people from the findhorn community are giving talks there, one happened today, but i couldn’t hang around for it. if such a thing does happen, eventually, i’m going to have to be a part of it in some way or another.

moe approached me with another “eventually” idea, as well. apparently micah has this fantasy of him opening up a mammal center somewhere in california – at this point it looks like santa barbara, but this is all just a fantasy at this point – and if he does, he plans on offering moe a job, which would mean moving to santa barbara. as much as i hate the idea of living in california, i’ve actually been to santa barbara a couple of times, and it’s enough different from both LA and SF that i could probably handle it.

it was good to see all the people from bellingham again, and i’m definitely going to have to plan on going up there next month for the art sharing, if nothing else… now all i have to do is find a job. soon.

56

gunnar has finally got a web site where he can keep his amazing fractal drawings. i just shipped out a wholesale purchase of om gayatri incense for someone in california… now all i need to do is get more of those kinds of people to buy my incense and stuff and i wouldn’t have to worry. another major site update is coming soon. i’ve got some new jewelry, a new ganesha statue, and a bunch of “new” incense (which is to say, the last of the old inventory) that i have to add to the site. i’m still going to carry incense from sugandha prabhu, i’m just not going to rely on him as my main supplier any more, because he’s not well, and even when he is, he’s more than a little flaky.

55

this is a test.

???????? ????????? ????????????????????? ? ???????? ?????????? ????????????????? ??

this is the end of the test.

पूर्णमदः पूर्णमिदं पूर्णात्पूर्णमुदच्यते । पूर्णस्य पूर्णमादाय पूर्णमेवावशिष्यते ॥

this is what it should look like.

bqx

i saw ezra and his new (as of yesterday afternoon) apartment yesterday. he said that he wanted to be closer to school, and i don’t blame him. he’s got a schedule that only a 20-something college student could handle, from 9 in the morning until 8 to 10 at night, every day with no days off… i wonder how long he’s going to be able to keep it up. he also said that he moved partially because cornish is giving him several tons of money for rent, tuition, books and supplies, and so forth, which is probably a good thing since i can’t afford to give him money myself and katharyn’s in a mental institution. he seems to be doing a much more successful job of getting money for going to college than i ever did.

i’m going to the vedanta socity in about half an hour. swamiji’s lecture today will be “After death experiences existance” (brain injury) which should be interesting since it is subtitled “Fact or fiction”, and i’m pretty sure that swamiji will come down on the side of “fact”, but i’d like to see how he’s going to prove it.

more memes to ponder. i could just post a link to quizilla dot com (or whatever) and let whatever comes of it happen, but i’d like to post only those memes which i have personally come in contact with, even if i do only post links to them and not my actual results.

i don’t use windows… for much! so when i ran virus scan, found a bunch of spyware applications (on my recently installed system mind you) and deleted them, i wasn’t too worried when the result was an error message telling me that c:\winnt\system32\bridge.dll wasn’t installed… but i just got rid of the error message! apparently there’s a registry key that doesn’t get changed back when you eliminate spyware using “unusual” (that is to say “manual”) methods. in case you’re wondering, open the registry editor and navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\run\ and the key that loads bridge.dll should be apparent (it contains the words “rundll”, “bridge.dll” and “load”. delete that key and you won’t get an error message any more!

<edit>

highlights of swamijis lecture (which i need to remember): there are five types of proof; direct perception, inference, comparison, reliable testimony and “non-perception” (the latter of which is not accepted by all schools of philosophy). existence after death can be proved by the fourth variety – reliable testimony – because the scriptures say so, and because people who have “super-sensual knowledge” say so. you can question this if you want to, but the only other way to prove it is with direct perception, which we will all have, eventually, but unfortunately for those of us who are left, the one who has this direct perception will be unable to share it with anyone else.

he included a descripiton of what a “non-perceptive” proof might be as well: a husband says “i left my wallet on the dresser, would you go and get it for me?” to his wife, so the wife goes and finds that it’s not there… that is a “non-perceptive” proof: the wife, by her “non-perception” of the wallet, proves that her husband didn’t leave it on the dresser…

there are actually two bodies which make up an individual (which is stuff i knew before): the “gross” body, which you can perceive, and the “fine” body, which is made up of as many as 17 or as few as 11 (depending on how you count them) limbs; the five sense organs, the five motor organs, the five energies (prana, upana, etc., which can be combined, as prana manifests differently depending on whether it is ingesting, digesting, excreting, etc.), buddhi and manas or “cognative ability” (which can be combined as “mind”). the mind is the “mirror” which reflects divinity resulting in the soul. thus where the mind is, the soul is as well.

mfr

the wurst festival went as planned and was pretty much the same as it was last year, except for the fact that i wasn’t recovering so immenently from a brain injury this year. i actually got a chance to look around a little, although there wasn’t much. basically it’s a church/school/neighborhood party that’s gone a little overboard: they had a bunch of inflatable “rides”, a dunk-tank, a few food booths, a few more sales booths and that’s it… although they did have a really nice mixing board, which i assume they had last year as well, i just didn’t notice.

the tacoma gig was excellent if you were the audience, but it was so-so from a performer’s point of view. we started performing at 5:00 and finished at 10:00, after a “parade” (in which the rich, starched-collar patrons of the two museums involved wandered from one museum to the other while the band – especially the tuba player who has an upright tuba, no strap, and a brain-injured right hand that doesn’t work as well as it’s supposed to – struggled to keep up), and a two hour “break” in which we had to frantically get set up and ready for the show while the rich patrons had dinner. my book ended up in the back of alan’s truck during the parade, and then alan disappeared, so i didn’t get my book back until just before we started, but it all worked out. the show was only a half an hour, but we included all of the best parts from august’s show, and macque added a new twist to pyrochaotica without telling anybody: two pyro-fountains at the end, which were loud enough that they drowned out the band for a couple minutes. the effect was sensational though – a fountain of crackling sparks going about 75 feet in the air, along with the standard compliment of other pyro stuff, with the backdrop of puget sound and the glass museum. there will probably be pictures eventually. it’s kind of odd, though, because one of the organisations that was putting the whole thing on was the philanthropy northwest society, but apparently they didn’t think to provide the “hired help” with important things like food, and passes to get in to the dressing room. we had a dressing room, but we had about 30 performers and only four passes, so there was as much searching for someone with a pass to get in as there was just about anything else, and i went home hungry. it’s presumably a good thing though, because now we can put the show on our “resume” and people will know that we can interact with highbrow society without getting under their skin, which will mean more performances in the future.

late night cabaret, too

also announcing the fremont philharmonic performing at the Late Night Cabaret, friday, 1st october, at 10:00 pm down on airport way just north of boeing field… i think the address is 2110 airport way, but i’m not sure.

this is the continuation of performances that took a break in june. now they’re back again, and if they’re going to be anything like what they were like in june, they should be loads of morbid, grisly fun with a side of pie and shack jack frost to boot. don’t miss it!

ife

hoo boy, the shit really has hit the fan with katharyn this time… and this time i didn’t have anything to do with it, and haven’t for several years now, so there’s no way she can possibly blame it on me, in spite of the fact that i have no doubt she’d want to if she had the opportunity.

i talked with ezra yesterday, and with what he said and from talking to darol, i learned that darol bailed her out of a house-sharing fiasco back in december, and then she moved into the mad house in may. she apparently lived a fairly normal madhouse existence for about 4 months, and then went off the deep end. she locked herself in her room and spent four days there, pounding on the floor and being abusive to the many requests that she had to be quiet. when she did come out she freaked out and ran out of the house and into the neighbor’s house (who she didn’t know) and ended up seeking sanctuary at the synagogue, which kicked her out. then she came back, drew stars of david in red felt pen on people’s doors, met darol screaming about aliens, and ended up in a bush a few houses down the street raving about how she wanted to talk to the intergalactic police, because the local police were going to put injection cuffs on her.

apparently she’s been confined against her will at the western state hospital in stillicum for the past three or four months, with no telling when she’s going to get out, if at all. darol has decided that he doesn’t want her living in the mad house any more, and who can blame him… but it’s interesting that the only person who darol has ever decided that about, is someone with whom i used to be associated. darol also wants to put katharyn’s stuff somewhere so that he can rent out the room, but it’s not going to be with me… even if i was willing to take katharyn’s stuff, i imagine that she’d be even more irrational about me than she was when we were dealing with each other.’

i sure must have missed a whole bunch of stuff while i was in the hospital, because i hadn’t heard any of this. in a way, i’m kinda glad i had my injury instead, because if i hadn’t, i’m sure that katharyn would have come up with some way for me to be involved in her little debacle…

in other news, apparently kolette and ben have broken up after 15 years together, because ben went out and got married to someone else, so kolette is back in b’ham, living at the madhouse again after 13 year absence, and shacking up with darol… which is probably really good for both of them.