grf

it is as i feared.

my unemployment claim runs out at the end of september, and i only have enough hours to qualify for half of what i have been getting, because of the fact that when i was working for schemalogic i was on a 1099 rather than on payroll, so i didn’t get unemployment tax paid. and worse, if i don’t apply before 04-october, i won’t get any benefits at all, because i have to have worked 680 hours to qualify, and the hours that i worked at schemalogic don’t apply. all because i suffered a brain injury last year, and carl was an asshole and fired me. if i ever get my hands on him, he’s going to wish he hadn’t.

i remember back in 1995, when i got my first tech industry job, i was talking with tamzin and she was telling me that i would never again have to deal with unemployment, because i worked in the tech industry now… little did anyone know how wrong she would be. she’s still working, doing network administration and technical support on macs for a school district in the san francisco area, and several other places, but she’s self employed.

grr

i’ve made a new icon, but for some reason i can’t see it, so i don’t know if there’s anything wrong with it, and probably won’t until later on in the weekend, and/or whenever i get around to rebooting, or whatever it wants to refresh itself. in case you’re interested, i got it from here.


i stole this from ‘s journal, and then modified it, because i think it goes a long way towards saying what i want to say to gliz, and, just maybe, he’ll understand what i’m talking about.

God, Are You Real?

I whispered, “God, speak to me.”
And a meadowlark sang.
And I took notice.
I yelled, “God, speak to me!”
And the thunder rolled across the sky.

I looked around and said, “God, show yourself to me.”
And a star shone brightly.
And my heart was glad.

I said, “God, show me a miracle!”
And He healed my brain injury.
I cried out, “Touch me God, and let me know you are here!”
Whereupon God reached down and touched me.

But because of human language and stubborn ignorance,
I cannot express that to you.
You disapprove.

When it comes down to either believing you, or believing God,
I choose God.

he wrote 4 more times since the last entry, and, in spite of the fact that i said i was going to be unpleasant and bizarre in hopes that he’ll go away, instead, i just didn’t respond to his last email.

i’ve only got one more week until i’m back on unenjoyment again. oh thrill. 8/

<rant>
in spite of the fact that i’m going to be unemployed next week, i’m not going to burning man for the following reasons:

1) i’d have to go by myself. yes, there would be a lot of people there, and i’d probably end up staying at the cirque camp, but i wouldn’t have anybody watching out for me, and

2) it’s an extremely dangerous environment, which is

3) accessible only with a car whose long term capacity to function is still not reliably known, and if it breaks down in the high desert, i could very easily succumb to

4) weird, unknown things having to do with the combination of my injury and the heat, and

5) i can’t afford the $225 for a ticket, because i’ve been sporadically employed since my injury…

and if that weren’t enough,

6) i’m significantly frustrated with the fremonster people who think it’s okay to get me involved with things (OCF, burning man…) that turn out to be for “elite” people only, in remote, difficult-to-survive-in locations, which don’t allow dogs, that cost WAY too much money, and are of suspiciously unknown artistic value.
</rant>

i heard from steve, which means that he’s not dead, which is good, i guess. he’s been in and out of the hospital three or four times since january, and he hasn’t been doing any business, so it’s probably a good thing that i took the incense offline. now all i gotta do is get off my ass and finish the new catalogue, with some of steve’s stuff included, and get it online again. knowledgeable as he is, he’s too flaky to rely on when i’ve got customers waiting for orders. i made a deal with to trade a quantity of incense for some tie dyed shirts, which i plan on adding to the web site as well. hopefully the coming period of unemployment will give me the opportunity to take care of all my web updates.

random links
If Jesus Was Mexican (requires shockwave)
Terror Tubbies (requires shockwave)
Funny Cats (requires quicktime)
9 naked men… (requires quicktime) don’t say i didn’t warn you.
an amateur PyroBoy! (requires windows media)… too bad he gets burned…
This is actually an expected event at a power substation! (requires windows media) WOW! at the end of the clip, if you look in the lower left corner of the screen, you’ll see two guys, walking away… that was big
Dedicated to the art of mocking public works
The Gematriculator
419 Eater
Noney
They Saved Zappa’s Moustache
Ramakrishna and Vivekakanda information.
Registration services for the .om TLD… now that’s something i should make use of!

memes
a whole lot of ’em
even more of them
What type of mage are you?
What kind of God are you?
Which trickster are you?
Which Great Old One are you?
20 questions to a better personality, just as intrusive but not quite as creepy as scientology…
you can tell why i’m skeptical of the value of these things.

yef

last minute reprieve, or something… my contract has been extended two weeks, but that means that now i’m going to have to re-apply for unenjoyment, because my current claim runs out in september. i hope i’ve worked enough hours to be eligible, otherwise i’m gonna be screwed.

wof

i don’t understand why some peope have no problems with other peoples’ religion, but others can’t rest until the whole world is converted to their point of view. you guessed it, i’ve been involved in yet another pointless debate with a mindless “christian” who doesn’t know when to quit.

i refer, of course, to my recent “converstation” with glen, who shall from this point forward will be referred to as “gliz” (lt’s a lizard thing moe came up with, i don’t completely understand, but i’ve adopted it anyway, as i generally respect moe’s opinion of things like this). his most recent tirade is because of the fact that i pointed out that his assertions that “you can’t agree that evolution is true, because if it were, then we would be no better than monkeys and apes” and “you must believe in God, for otherwise life would have no meaning” were faulty logic. i showed him proof that these two statements were the result of faulty logic, and he still insists that i defend my position…

it all started innocently enough when he sent me email saying that he’s seen my web site (i had cards printed up with the url on them to give to people who asked me about my injury), saw that it had references to Ganesha and asked if it was all right if he “asked some questions”, and as long as it stayed that way it was fine: he asked questions, and to the best of my ability, i answered them with what i’ve learned… but it didn’t stay that way for long. the “discussion” started on 12/3, and i warned him that i was not prepared to debate him, and i didn’t want to debate him anyway, on that date, but by 21/3 it already had the overtones of a debate, and it went downhill from there. i told him that i didn’t have to justfy the fact that my philosophy doesn’t follow strict logic as long as i wasn’t asking anyone to agree with me, but if he was asking me to agree with him, he was going to have to offer me something better than what i’ve discovered on my own, and so far he hasn’t come up with it… he wasn’t willing to accept that.

it is *still* going on: i wrote back to him this afternoon. it has involved josh mcdowell ministries, who also could not offer me anything better than i’ve come up with, but while the josh-mcdowellite was polite and gave up without raising a stink, gliz is continuing his abusive rants. he said that “a person… with josh mcdowell ministries” wanted to discuss the “questions” i was asking (??) on my site, and that he “did not suggest this or set you up” and that it was “not some kind of plot or trap”, and for the most part, it was a civil exchange that ended when i said that it was about as difficult to change my opinions with the information that he had available as it was for me to change his opinions with the information that i have available. the josh mcdowell part of this “discussion” took place between 14/7 and 21/7, and then gliz got involved again. it turned out that he and the josh-mcdowellite had been comparing notes all along, without telling me. i wrote to gliz telling him that, essentially, the josh-mcdowellite had gotten nowhere, and that’s where the invective started.

he stated that infinity doesn’t mean infinity; that an “infinite god” was “qualitatively infinite, but not quantitatively infinite” and when i asked him why he thought i should believe that an infinite God was not infinite, he responded with the statements above. the fact that he has accused me of “childish insults” and, acting offended, accused me of telling him to “shut the hell up” (which, in spite of the fact that he insists it’s true, i’ve done a text search and the only time that phrase has come up is when he has said it) is only the most recent of ravings from this idiot with a doctors degree…

yes, i’m being childish and insulting here, but he won’t read it here, and i’m tired of being nice and polite anyway. if he doesn’t like it, and he won’t leave me alone, then i’m going to be bizarre and unpleasant until he either shuts up or goes home, because i can’t make an impression on him any other way.

in other news, my contract at jetstream ends on the 15th, only this time my benefits expire in september, so i’m going to have to reapply, which sucks. today is my first real day off in almost a month… i’ve been BUSY since before country fair, and i could use some time off, but i wish it was by my choice. tomorrow the show starts, so i’ve got to do laundry, take a shower and sleep, because i’m going to be up until 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning for the next 3 days…

random urls:
talk.origins archive
an ex creationist
“christian”-bashing jew
theremin kit and other goodies
Little Marcy
Reinhardt A. Fuck… really!

memes that i don’t believe in:
How grammatically sound are you?
What’s your stand on…
What bodily discharge are you?
a whole bunch of them
friends quiz
this one is sort of useful, a word count
are you a freak?

Cirque de Flamb&eacute;

this is to announce the upcoming performances of Cirque de Flambé, performing “Uh Oh! Playing With Fire (a parody)” at Warren G. Magnusson Park (the old Sand Point Naval Air Station) next to Hangar 27, on friday, saturday and sunday, august 6, 7, and 8, and friday and saturday, august 13 and 14. this show will also feature the Fremont Philharmonic, and BBWP. be there or be square.

hum

very busy with rehearsals for the upcoming cirque de flambé show. recently it’s been monday cirque rehearsal, tuesday BBWP rehearsal, wednesday cirque rehearsal, thursday philharmonic rehearsal… then last week, friday we went to boise for three days to attend the wedding of laura and scott. laura is a friend of monique’s from high school and scott is a recently graduated from law school guy who lives in boise. boise is a hot, flat, dry place. i think a good word for it is “desert”, but that doesn’t leave much room for doubt, and with boise, there is some doubt. of course we went there on the first day in a long time that we’d had temperatures in the 90s at home, so it was to be expected that the temperature would be 20 degrees warmer where we were going. i’m glad we were on the road, and i’m glad we had air conditioning.

on the way back from boise, we stopped in the middle of nowhere so monique could meet one of the dog breeders she’s been talking to recently, and meet her dogs. she has 16, small, noisy, frantically entergetic dogs, and monique wants to get one, but i don’t think it will be from this lady. she’s gone with trudy to see a dog in gig harbor, one of the ones we looked at a few weeks ago. it’s all a mystery to me. one small yappy dog is more or less the same as the next, as far as i’m concerned, but moe has dreams of being a dog trainer when she grows up, so far be it for me to do anything but support her.

monique bought a powerbook after somebody gave her an ipod a couple of weeks ago, so i’ve spent the whole day rearranging things (again), and have finally got everything working again. basically the powerbook takes the place of the imac, but since it’s faster and more powerful, it also takes the place of the g3, which moves over to my desk, so now i have three computers on my desk.

i’ve wanted to start going to the vedanta society again, now that i’m not reliant on someone else to take me places, but so far i’ve been busy every week. i’ve come to what i believe is the end of a conversation with a couple of “christians”, one of whom is glen and the other one is MH from josh mcdowell ministries. they want to have a “conversation” with me concerning my web pages, but it has very quickly turned into a debate about whether they’re right or not. i recently found the index of logical fallacies which has been indispensible in my arguments with them. i accuse them of redefining infinity when they say that an infinite God is “qualitatively infinite but not quantitatevely infinite”, i accuse them of appeal to consequences, and am able to use the index to my advantage when they accuse me of “begging the question” but they don’t know what it means. they claim to use logic, but in reality they only use logic when it suits their purposes… which is fine as long as i am free to do the same, which i make no bones about. the minute they start saying that their random combination of manmade tradition, sacred revelation and holy scripture gobbledy gook is superior to mine they’re going to have to do a lot more than claim to be logical before i’m going to believe them.

meme avoidance

i couldn’t resist, and, as i suspected, this thing popped out emperor norton. who’s surprised by that?

I'm Joshua Abraham Norton, the first and only Emperor of the United States of America!
Which Historical Lunatic Are You?
From the fecund loins of Rum and Monkey.

You are Joshua Abraham Norton, first and only Emperor of the United States of America!

Born in England sometime in the second decade of the nineteenth century, you carved a notable business career, in South Africa and later San Francisco, until an entry into the rice market wiped out your fortune in 1854. After this, you became quite different. The first sign of this came on September 17, 1859, when you expressed your dissatisfaction with the political situation in America by declaring yourself Norton I, Emperor of the USA. You remained as such, unchallenged, for twenty-one years.

Within a month you had decreed the dissolution of Congress. When this was largely ignored, you summoned all interested parties to discuss the matter in a music hall, and then summoned the army to quell the rebellious leaders in Washington. This did not work. Magnanimously, you decreed (eventually) that Congress could remain for the time being. However, you disbanded both major political parties in 1869, as well as instituting a fine of $25 for using the abominable nickname “Frisco” for your home city.

Your days consisted of parading around your domain – the San Francisco streets – in a uniform of royal blue with gold epaulettes. This was set off by a beaver hat and umbrella. You dispensed philosophy and inspected the state of sidewalks and the police with equal aplomb. You were a great ally of the maligned Chinese of the city, and once dispersed a riot by standing between the Chinese and their would-be assailants and reciting the Lord’s Prayer quietly, head bowed.

Once arrested, you were swiftly pardoned by the Police Chief with all apologies, after which all policemen were ordered to salute you on the street. Your renown grew. Proprietors of respectable establishments fixed brass plaques to their walls proclaiming your patronage; musical and theatrical performances invariably reserved seats for you and your two dogs. (As an aside, you were a good friend of Mark Twain, who wrote an epitaph for one of your faithful hounds, Bummer.) The Census of 1870 listed your occupation as “Emperor”.

The Board of Supervisors of San Francisco, upon noticing the slightly delapidated state of your attire, replaced it at their own expense. You responded graciously by granting a patent of nobility to each member. Your death, collapsing on the street on January 8, 1880, made front page news under the headline “Le Roi est Mort”. Aside from what you had on your person, your possessions amounted to a single sovereign, a collection of walking sticks, an old sabre, your correspondence with Queen Victoria and 1,098,235 shares of stock in a worthless gold mine. Your funeral cortege was of 30,000 people and over two miles long.

The burial was marked by a total eclipse of the sun.

faw

i’m finally done enough that i can write something…


in the past six days i have performed jack and the bean stalk six times, performed with the fremont philharmonic three times, performed Big Bois With Poise once, waited in various different lines for approximately 12 hours, slept four nights in “mosquito acres” (otherwise known as “Chelamela staff camping”), spent 4 hours tearing down the stage, traveled almost 900 miles, got lost in Portland for 4 hours, spent 8 hours working, 3 hours getting my car fixed again, and 1 hour doing an emergency web update for diana.

country fair went well, although it was more of a job than a vacation. it was very odd seeing the dichotomy between the fantastic utopian dream that it could be (and almost is), and the harsh, stark reality of hippies that are so hung up on their own fantasy about “what country fair is”, that they complain because somebody has their tent set up 6 inches to the wrong side of some imaginary line that only exists in the hippie’s over-stoned brain, or bitching because they can’t drive against the flow of traffic, because that’s what they have “always done” at country fair, regardless of how unrealistic it is this year.

thursday afternoon check in was the most difficult part of the whole thing. i drove for 5 hours and parked in the “temporary” lot to check in and get my “wrist band” (which is one of the ways that they identify people and sort them out into categories), but my name wasn’t on the list, so i had to wait in line to see the “troubleshooter,” and then wait in a third line once the troubleshooter had straightened out whatever screwup had happened. then, once i had gotten the wrist band, i had to wait in line again so that i could have the priveledge of paying $5.00 to have it cut off and made into a laminated card that you wear around your neck, because the wrist band was too much like being in the hospital.

then i had to wait in line again to be able to drive my car to the place where we could offload our stuff (which was about a quarter of a mile from the actual camping site), and proceded to lock myself out of my car, so i had to go find the quartermaster, wait in line *again* while he did several other things before he found his lockout kit and opened my car… and after all that, i had to park about 2 miles away from where i was camped, which was about a mile away from the stage… john called it H.I.F.: Hippie Ineptitude Factor. i’m not entirely sure i approve of calling it that, since i *am* a hippie, but it seems to fit anyway.

the jack and phil performances went really well, and the phil sold all 50 cds that we had made (don’t worry, they were phil cds and not my personal cds), so there’s a possibility that i’ll even get paid eventually. BBWP was a gigantic hit: i heard someone that i didn’t know, ahead of me in line at the ritz, raving to someone else i didn’t know about how hilarious it was. there were probably 100 different artists that all swung poi with great aplomb and immaculate skill sunday night, but the one act that they’ll remember 10 years from now is BBWP, which is *REALLY* cool.

as i said before, i met one of the musicians from dreamtrybe. i was talking with pam and R.A., and got inspired to go and chant hare krsna with a bunch of hippies, and it turned out that the one who was leading the chant was from dreamtrybe. i hadn’t even thought of their album since my injury, but i remembered that i had bought the album for one particular song, and it turned out to be *exactly* what i needed to hear. i also saw carl (the one from bellingham, not the slime ball who was responsible for my unemployment), who i hadn’t seen since before my injury, tim “fyodor karamazov” of the flying karamazov brothers, who i haven’t seen for almost two years, and matthew bob, who was also camped in mosquito acres.

i saw jill friday and saturday. she lives in philomath, which is nearer to veneta (the town where country fair happened) than any other place i’ve been since i have been in contact with her. we hung out together for a couple of hours, and didn’t say much… which, i think, is a good thing. there’s really not much that needed to be said. it was nice hanging out with her and gawking at the hippies, and it was really nice to hang out without having to worry about her crazy step father and his shot gun. she had her daughter with her on saturday, and it was pretty odd to be introduced to an adult person whose mother i had originally met when her mother was younger than she was. it was a little awkward, because apparently jill isn’t as much of a hippie as i am, but at the same time, it’s been 25 years since we’ve seen each other, and a lot has changed for both of us in that time. apparently jill took a whole bunch of pictures while she was there, which she’ll be sending me, and i’ll probably post a couple of them either here or on my brain injury page when i get them.

by the time we got to country fair, the car was smoking. NOT what i wanted to see. it turned out that the constant velocity joint cover had come loose, so the smoke wasn’t serious enough to strand us in the middle of nowhere, but i had to get it fixed for real this time. supposedly it was supposed to be fixed on wednesday before i left, but i showed up and the guy who was going to do the work never showed up, so i had to drive to and from with a leaky power steering line, and a constant velocity joint that was smoking. hopefully, now that it’s fixed for real, i won’t have any more problems for a while and i can work on turning it into an art car with no further distractions.

it was kinda sad, not being with my sweetie on my birthday, but i made up for it by taking a 6 hour sauna at the ritz (note to self: the next time, buy a house with a sauna!) and buying myself a double dragon brooch, which is shaped like the letter “S”. i also got goodies for moe, so she wouldn’t feel left out when i got home: a goblin “bonnet” with horns, and two pairs of earrings. all in all, i spent too much money at the fair, so i guess i’m going to have to go back to work again. sigh.

heb

Why did you tap me on the shoulder in my sleep last night,
Telling me I must write this song now, that the time is right,
They’re gonna think I’ve lost my mind,
Some of them will be unkind,
When I say

THERE IS NO HELL!

We do not die,
We are not gone,
We are alive,
We are just on
The other side,
We are not dead,
We are alive,
We do not die!
We do not die!

They’re gonna wonder how I got this information here,
What will they say when I tell them you whispered in my ear,
How can I prove their greatest fears
Have been unfounded all these years,
The truth is

THERE IS NO HELL!

We do not die,
We are not gone,
We are alive,
We are just on
The other side,
We are not dead,
We are alive,
We do not die!
We do not die!

So many people have seen the light,
When what they thought was the end in sight…

I’m not the only one who shares this bold philosophy,
I can only say that what I saw is plain to see,
But I was once a skeptic too,
Until the day I heard from you,
When you said

THERE IS NO HELL!

We do not die,
We are not gone,
We are alive,
We are just on
The other side,
We are not dead,
We are alive,
We do not die!
We do not die!

– Dreamtrybe

it’s shockwave heavy and caused my browser to crash, but it’s http://www.dreamtrybe.com if you want to give it a try.

i got their album Acoustic Autumn specifically for this song, about a year before my injury. i hadn’t thought about it until country fair, when i met one of the musicians in Dreamtrybe and dug their album out again.

more about fair later. i’ve got to go get my car fixed (!#@$^%&!!).

urg

here is a quiz i found on ‘s journal…


The Devil Card
You are the Devil card. The Devil is based on the
figure Pan, Lord of the Dance. The earthy
physicality of the devil breeds lust. The
devil’s call to return to primal instincts
often creates conflict in a society in which
many of these instincts must be kept under
control. Challenges posed by our physical
bodies can be overcome by strength in the
mental, emotional, and spiritual realms. Pan is
also a symbol of enjoyment and rules our
material creativity. The devil knows physical
pleasure and how to manipulate the physical
world. Material creativity finds its output in
such things as dance, pottery, gardening, and
sex. The self-actualized person is able to
accept the sensuality and usefulness of the
devil’s gifts while remaining in control of any
darker urges. Image from The Stone Tarot deck.
http://hometown.aol.com/newtarotdeck/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

these things are really starting to make me wonder. i’ve heard them called “memes” but i’m not sure what that means. not that i haven’t heard a definition of the word, but i’m not sure if i agree with the definition when it comes to things like this. i think that these *may* actually be more sinister things.

there are many things that i wonder about this quiz, specifically, and all quizzes like this… is it major arcana only, or does it include the minor arcana as well… what are the computer’s criteria for determining which card you are? i tried the page they said their information was borrowed from, but that page is no more, and there doesn’t appear to be any other links on the page that would tell me about how this particular computer program works, or who made it…

how do we know that whoever wrote the computer program interpreted the cards correctly? we don’t. in fact, we don’t even know who it is that wrote the computer program at all. presumably there are ways of finding out, i’m sure that quizilla knows something, but it’s not made very evident for those of us who think about such things. what if the programmer had an alterior motive; what if, instead of giving accurate interpretations of cards based on logical inferences made from the answers you gave to the questions, what if they programmed it to spew out random interpretations and images, totally ignoring the questions all together.

and what about the questions? they’ve got your IP address as soon as you login, what do they do with the answers they gather to the questions? especially if the questions reveal you to be a person likely to do socially inappropriate things? i saw a “quiz” recently called Which America Hating Minority Are You? which had me down as a “terrorist”, which doesn’t surprise me, but now the epithet “terrorist” is associated with my IP address in some anonymous log somewhere… whose job is it to keep track of those logs?

i’m beginning to wonder if this isn’t all a big government conspiracy to gather as much information about us as they can in ways that, for the most part, we’d never suspect. 8/

yem

i have a new car… well, i have a recycled car, which is the only thing that makes me feel even remotely good about the whole thing. we’re desperate enough for oil that we’ll listen to the lies bush spews, and go to war for a commodity that will run out whether we go to war or not, and here i’m getting a car… who put that thought into my head? the car i’d been driving for 5 years, a mazda 626, died last year when i was in the hospital. monique figured (rightly) that i woulnd’t be needing it for a while, so she loaned it to mal, and the first day that he actually *had* to use it was the day it died. one of the things i did to prove to them that i was ready to leave the hospital (a process that took about a month, and required me to have, among other things, a neuropsychological examination to determine how “brain damaged” i was) was to accompany moe and mal to the towing yard where it had been impounded, and “drive” it home (which means i rode along in the car, never got out, and moe and mal did all the driving). the new car is grey, which i plan on modifying by writing sanskrit verses on it, in white (i figure one shot should do perfectly well), with about 6 inch letters. at this point it’s just beyond the fantasy stage, but probably won’t get any farther than that at least until i get the new license plates for it, which, God willing, will say GANESHA, and probably won’t even get to the “figuring out what sanskrit verses to use” stage until *at least* september, which will be after the cirque performances are through.

i’m going to the oregon country fair in two weeks, where i hope to see jill for the first time since high school. it should be interesting, if nothing else. mike and linda are going to be there also, but i’m not sure if they’re aware of the fact that i’m going to be there, and i think i like it that way. mike and linda are sort-of relatives of monique – mike is monique’s mom’s housemate’s brother, but monique’s mom and ann, her housemate, have lived together for long enough that i wonder whether it’s more than just friendship in spite of (or because of?) the fact that they’re both so straight outwardly, combined with the fact that monique’s mom has been sexually mutilated, in a medical sense, and has a rather low opinion of men in general. mike and linda are old-timers at OCF, and they were sort of snooty when i mentioned that we might be coming, and that we’d never been before. on the other hand, i know rev. chumleigh from high school, although he probably doesn’t realize it, so we’re probably more “even” than they’re snooty-ness lets on.

the cirque de flambé is in full rehearsal mode: our next production is going to be called Uh Oh – Playing with Fire: A Parody (in honor of the fact that we finally got the name trademarked, which means that it’s going to be harder than ever for the cirque du soleil to sue us), the big bois with poise (an act for the cirque de flambé) is in full rehearsal mode, we’ve got a weekend’s worth of performances at OCF and rehearsals for the next show (another “british panto” called Babes in The Wood, which is a cross between Robin Hood and Hansel & Gretel), the fremont philharmonic is so far into the recording schedule that fred (hawkinson, not mclain) is practically impossible to get along with – although once the recording is finished, i’m sure he’ll revert back to his normal, easy-going self – plus we’re in the fremont players’ and the cirque de flambé rehearsals as well… i’m working tentatively full time, so it’s a good thing that i got a car, but i’m spending around 10 hours at home, and for 8 of ’em, i’m asleep! in fact, i’ve got a rehearsal i need to get to now, so that’s all.

beh

okay, this is the announcement of upcoming performances at the fremont solstice parade (saturday) and the fremont street fair (sunday) of the fremont philharmonic (saturday) and the fremont players’ rendition of Jack and The Beanstalk (sunday). i’ve been working my tail off, what with cirque rehearsals (performances in august that includes the phil and the BBWP), players’ rehearsals and performances, phil rehearsals, performances and a recording, BBWP rehearsals, and a job. what was i thinking?

wif

new job, testing software for big brother, by way of an outsource testing firm called jetstream. it was interesting… i started on 0602 because 0601 was a “holiday”, and worked until friday, then i worked monday through thursday, i *didn’t* work on friday, and it looks like i’m not working on monday either, in spite of the fact that they’ve added me to their payroll… i guess that’s what being a “temporary employee” means. i wonder what’s going to happen next. i’ve still got unenjoyment left, but that ends in september whether i’ve used it or not.

meanwhile, it looks as though i’m having my CD label printed. i talked with troy and he said to bring him the stuff on monday, and i’m not working monday, so it’s convenient, sort of. i’ve also got to go to the social security office, because when i went to renew my drivers license, they told me that the name in their records doesn’t match the social security number on record for me. i’m pretty sure it’s because of the fact that they screwed up my name in order to fit it into their computer, but i’ve still got to go to the social security office to get their word on who i am so i can go back to the dol and say that they’re the ones that screwed up…

i’ve been somewhat perturbed to find advertising windows open on my windows machine, in spite of the fact that there are no other apllications running and haven’t been for a couple of days, so i installed AdAware, and it found a whole bunch of spyware that i *DIDN’T* install. of course i removed it immediately, but when i rebooted, one of them had the audacity to put up an alert window that said “an application has caused the removal of 180search assistant, possibly without your knowledge…” and asked if i wanted to *reinstall*! i’ll tell you what: when i am aware of the fact that i’ve installed your software *the first time* then i’ll think about *re*installing it, but until then you can *KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED HANDS OUT OF MY COMPUTER* thank you very much! it’s that kind of thing that makes me wish i knew more about coding, ’cause i’d write a virus that would track them down and erase their hard drives. grumble, mutter…

blat

what do you know? there’s still just the two of us… the person with the username that matches my real-life name on LJ is the same person i corresponded with outside of LJ a couple of years ago. i would comment on what a small world it is, but that’s been done already, and besides that, when you combine the fact that it *is* a rather unusual name with the fact that it’s spelled wrong (unless, of course, you’re referring to me), it’s not as suprising as it could be.

poot

i just found a LJ user who has the same username that i have in reality. this is odd, because the name that we share is spelled in a way that most people would consider “wrong,” and, as far as i’ve been able to tell, i’m the only person who actually *has* this particular name (no, i’m not going to tell you what it is, i’m not that interested in giving that much of my life over to examination by other people). there is (as far as i’ve been able to tell) only one other person (other than me) with that same username (the other one used to have an address at AOL, but i haven’t heard from her in a couple of years). now i have to poke around and see if this is the same person, or if it’s an entirely new and different person, and if so, why she chose to spell that name “wrong”.

in other news, i’ve started a temporary job testing software for Big Brother (micro$lut), but i’m not actually *working* for micro$lut, so it’s okay. i really like testing windoes’t software, because regardless of what you do (or don’t do), you’re guaranteed to find bugs. this particular piece of software is the windoesn’t “Media Center”, and it is my job to make sure that the TV portion of the program displays properly regardless of the screen resolution, but i’ve only been at it for 2 days, so i haven’t found much yet. i’m working with aaron c., who i worked with at STLabs, several years ago, and he is a large part of the reason i’m working here currently – he said that he told the people in charge that if i was available, they’d better grab me while they could. it’s good to know that i’ve got friends, especially when the rest of my life is in such chaos… now if it were only a *permanent* job…

at the same time, i’m still not completely sure i actually *want* to work in the computer industry. the temporary job i had at schemalogic taught me that in spades. if a printshop job came along at this point, i’d take it, especially since my current job is a temporary one anyway, although if they offered to make me a permanent employee, things might be different… on the other hand, i wonder if *any* job can be said to be “permanent” any more. certainly not in the same way that my father was offered a “permanent” job. one way or the other, i’m glad to be working again, and i’m even gladder to have a job, temporary or permanent, that is as flexible as this one. the day that i started, dave was talking about the possibility that i could work from home, which i probably *couldn’t* do if i had a printshop job.

gof

i figure as long as i’m going to pay for this thing, i’ll get some use out of it. i should check the web archive to see if the entries go in there as well.

still no work. unenjoyment doesn’t run out until september, but i’m starting to get worried. i’ve got an interview for a temporary job on monday, but once that runs out in july, then i’ll be right back where i started from, except that it will be closer to september. monique has mentioned that we may have to sell the tahoe, which would mean either a smaller, less versatile car, or taking the bus, which would add even more stress to our already stressful lives.

have i mentioned recently how much i hate wage slavery? it’s even more pronounced since my injury: i hate wage slavery with a passion that wasn’t even imaginable before my injury. maybe one of these days i’ll do something about it.

so i am going to the oregon country fair, for all three days, by myself. it’s kind of a bummer to think that i’m going to have my birthday and the one-year anniversary of my injury without monique, but that’s easier than dealing with the fremont players bitching at me because i was only at OCF for two days. also, apparently jill’s going to be there, which will be the first time i’ve seen her since i was a sophomore in high school… so it won’t be that bad… i think.

feh

the brain injury is still there, and will be for the rest of my life. deal with it, i did. for more updates, go here. employment is down the tubes. there is hope, but it’s fading fast. i’m thinking of going back to school to learn perl and apache (the web-server, not the language, as google thought), but i’m not teriffically inspired to do that, either. the fremont philharmonic has been getting busier and busier, to the point where i’m almost glad i don’t have a "real" job anyway. i’m auditioning for the cirque de flambé with "The Big Bois With Poise", which is taking up even more of my already diminishing free time with rehearsals and practice (because i have a brain injury, combined with the fact that i’ve never spun poi before). the fremont players’ Jack and The Beanstalk is going to the oregon country fair this year, which is on the weekend of my birthday, which is also the one-year anniversary of my brain injury. i’d be a lot more excited about it, except that it looks as though they won’t let monique come, because of the dogs. they’d let her come without the dogs, but she never travels anywhere without them, and she said that if they don’t allow dogs then she’s not coming. i wish the fremont people would stop doing things (the solstice feast, the oregon country fair) for which to get in you have to "know somebody". on the other hand, they’re getting a lot of publicity, and not all of it is bad. anyway, i still haven’t decided whether i’m going to stay home in protest, or whether i’m going to go and "have fun" without my sweetie, which won’t be any fun at all…

the enlightened rantings of a brain damaged freak