downward spiral

i’m getting depressed, and, from all i can tell, things will continue to happen over the short term that will succeed in making me more depressed. among them are:

i’ve reached a point where i, literally, don’t know what to do next on the hybrid elephant site. i’ve got it as ready as it needs to be, design-wise, but i haven’t started feeding the database yet, because things keep coming up which are more important… but there are a few things to which i don’t even know where to start looking for the answer, and they all have to do with paypal… and/or something to replace paypal… 😐 i’ve got a “local” replacement for paypal all set up and ready to go to the FSM, but i haven’t even been to the FSM as a vendor for a few years, and while i know the owners, john and candace, pretty well, they still won’t let me come back without a city of seattle business license, which i let expire because i wasn’t doing enough business in the city of seattle to make it worth my while… but the “local” replacement doesn’t (as far as i know) work on my web site, and i really should find a more “legitimate” alternative to paypal for those people (like me) who mistrust paypal…

along the same lines, the new (temporary) theme for this blog is doing some decidedly strange things that i’m not sure i like, and when i go to the place where i expected to be able to adjust things, all i get is pages and pages of incomprehensible code. it would be really nice if i could use the barthelme theme that i had before, but unfortunately it is no longer being updated, which means that i’m going to have to find another, suitable theme, and/or learn some new, incomprehensible and useless code in order to be able to fix things… and i really DON’T want to learn more incomprehensible computer stuff these days, because my brain is already having trouble retaining the incomprehensible computer stuff that i already know — most of which is out of date anyway.

also, we’ve only got one more weekend of panto shows – four total – and then we’re done with panto until the summer, and we aren’t even going to find out about potential moisture festival gigs for two or three months, which means that i’m going to have very little to do for the forseeable future.

moe has been sick for the past couple of days: yes, she was sick on new year’s eve. πŸ˜› so, despite the fact that we were invited to 3 different parties, we stayed at home, had pizza for dinner, and went to bed early. in spite of the fact that moe has been sick, we took our annual “take the dogs to the beach on new year’s day” walk, and all the time i was there i was thinking that, a year ago, magick was alive, and three years ago, paddy was alive… we didn’t walk very far this year, because moe was sick… and i had to get up at 7:30 in the morning so that i could go on a depressing walk with my sick wife and a bunch of people i only see once a year… 😐

it wasn’t an complete loss, though, because i found what appear to be two HUGE snail shells… both about the size of my fist. i didn’t know snails grew to be that big around here…

it would be nice if something would happen to change this downward spiral, especially since i have conscious awareness of its presence… but at this point it doesn’t appear likely. 😐