i’ve made a decision, which, for me, is pretty monumental, and it’s been brought about by spending the past month doing gigs 5 days a week. the fact is, i enjoy doing gigs. i don’t enjoy going to “work” five days a week as a tester, and i can tolerate doing 5 days a week as a graphic artist and typesetter, but i’d rather be playing. the problem previously has been that i don’t get paid (as much, if at all) for playing, and i do get paid for being a tester or a typesetter, but at this point, i don’t care any more. beau bonds as “the naked puppet” (“i’ve got nothing to hide, i’m naked!”) said, “sometimes you don’t need a job, sometimes you need a life.” i remember when i was in the tech school i couldn’t imagine getting paid for playing (which includes doing the things that i was trained to do at the tech school), but that’s what i wanted, and now, finally, i’ve figured out that playing is what i want to do, regardless of whether i get paid or not. i had a near-death experience and survived, so i’ve been given a second chance at life, and i don’t want to screw it up again. fuck work. i’m through with working.

it’s kind of a scary decision, but it’s also kind of an exciting one.

13 thoughts on “442”

  1. You rock, bro!

    Let’s get together soon and not only make some noise but also talk about the “5000 fans” theory.

  2. i went to 7 years of seminary, 6 of regular college and 2 at a tech school and i never got a degree or graduated from anywhere except the seminary, and i converted to hinduism two days after i graduated from a christian seminary, so that doesn’t really count. the reason i never graduated is that i realised very early that school was useful, but it ultimately wasn’t going to teach me what i wanted to learn… i think i’m still trying to figure out exactly what it is that i want to learn, but i think that this recent decision i made is a step in the right direction… 8)

    financial aid running out, or something else? i’m assuming that you don’t make an awful lot of money as a tiedye artist, but i keep thinking that you would do really well with a web site to sell your tiedye…

  3. I guess I really don’t, I’m just going to have to get very creative in figuring out how to pay my rent with my degree. The whole original point of school was to earn a degree that would help me better my financial circumstances, and then it became more about just enjoying the journey and being fulfilled by doing the work. I don’t really know what to do with my degree once I get it. It seems like I’d be best off just trying to keep going in school and getting the next, bigger degree. But how to support myself is really a serious issue.

  4. you’re doing what you want to do on your schedule – well, where school is involved, you’re choosing to do things on somebody else’s schedule, but you could also choose not to take the class at all, which, i think, is where the difference lies.

    and once you’re done with school, why do you have to “work” for someone else anyway?

  5. Yeah, exactly. Though technically, I’m “working” by doing art, being a student, being a parent, I haven’t actually “worked” as in being employed by someone else for… 14 years? And I really never want to go back to it, ever. That’s part of what scares me about finishing school and going out looking for work with my degree, I’ll be back in “that” world, like with a boss.

  6. it may not be all music, but there will certainly be a lot more of that included in whatever becomes of my life in the future… Hybrid Elephant includes the computer geek and graphic artist in me, but the difference is that i won’t be “working” – i won’t be doing that stuff according to someone elses needs and schedules (even if i <shudder> take a “contract” position as a tester at some point in the future), i’m going to deliberately make my own schedule, and do a job only if i feel like it, and not necessarily because somebody needs someone to do it.

  7. Well then, that’s wonderful. And I totally look forward to reading about your musical journey. 🙂

  8. thanks… 8)

    And if it doesn’t, you can work again later

    not likely… i’m finished working. despite all of the religious training i have gone through, it’s only now that i understand exactly what it is to give something up. i am a lot closer to being a monk than i was previously, because now i understand what it means truly to sacrifice something.

  9. Do it, jump out there, at least you have your life, a place to live, and a loving wife. I think the Universe will support your decision and once you are playing all the time, the money will begin to come. And if it doesn’t, you can work again later after giving this way of life a good, solid try.

  10. I think you are 100% correct, my friend. I support your decision all the way, and you have given me courage to pursue a thought I’ve been kicking around myself. The very best of luck to you!

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