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Pilot finds snake stowaway inside cockpit
Sat Jun 3, 2006

CHARLESTON, W.Va. – Monty Coles was 3,000 feet in the air when he discovered a stowaway peeking out at him from the plane’s instrument panel: a 4½-foot snake.

Coles was taking a leisurely flight over the West Virginia countryside in his Piper Cherokee last weekend and was preparing to land in Ohio when the snake revealed itself.

“Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this,” said the 62-year-old Cross Lanes resident.

But advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor sprung to mind: “No matter what happens, fly the plane.”

Coles attempted to swat the snake but it fell to the pilot’s feet, then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

“There was no way I was letting that thing go,” he said. “It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling.”

The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

“They came back and asked what my problem was,” he said. “I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in.”

After a smooth landing, Coles posed for pictures with the snake, then let it loose.

“That snake resides in Ohio now,” he said.


The perfect female breast – even if you don’t have female breasts, for whatever reason, they can fix you right up…

521

grr

before the performance yesterday, i couldn’t get the car started.

last year about this time, the car started being intermittent about starting, but i found that if i got a jump, everything worked fine. i thought it might be the battery or the alternator, but i checked both of them and they were working fine, as far as i could tell. it was an intermittent problem, which, of course, meant that it didn’t do it any time when a mechanic was present, and it didn’t do it often enough that carrying jumper cables and hoping that i would be able to find a jump if necessary didn’t solve the problem. and to add to that, it seemed to be a problem that only happened when we had dry weather, because once it started raining regularly, the problem went away.

but this time it was slightly more sinister. i noticed that when i hit the brakes, the tachometer “glitched” – briefly went down to zero, and then back up to running speed. it was subtle enough that the first few times it happened, i either didn’t see it at all, or caught the movement of the needle as it was flying back up to normal running speed, but i wached, and finally figured out what was going on. this was something i had never seen before, but it went along with what i had figured out previously, that either the battery or the alternator was faulty in some way, and when the brake lights went on, it caused an electrical surge in the car.

after my performance, at the seatac mariott hotel, i went out to the car, and it wouldn’t start… no problem, i figure… just roll it backwards so that someone can pull along side it, jump start it, and i’ll be on my way. but no, now i can’t shift it, either. i checked to see if the shift lever was locked because it has a locking steering column, but the steering wheel was moving freely, and i couldn’t have someone pull in beside me because the parking places on both sides of the car were blocked by other people. after about an hour and a half on the phone, finally, monique came up to “rescue” me, and she and i jury-rigged jump starting it by connecting two sets of cables together – which reminded me a lot of a long time ago when ian and i were hitchhiking on whidbey island, and we were picked up by a person who we later realised was very drunk, but not before he had attempted to jump start his car using coat hanger wire, and then just about ran over ian as he was getting his backpack on…

anyway, we got ganesha the car started and rolling home. as i was getting on the freeway, i turned on the lights, and there was a big electrical surge – it was almost as if i had turned the engine off. i was accellerating, and suddenly it shifted down into first, the RPMs went through the roof, all of the accessories, like my ipod, turned off, the “overdrive off” light went out, and there was a definite jerk as the car slowed down, and then sped up again.

and when i got home and turned off the car, it wouldn’t start, and i couldn’t shift it again.

grr

it’s going to see jack on monday, if i can get it started, but god knows how we’re going to pay for it…

and i just painted it. 8(

520

Man accidentally shot and killed himself after crash
May 31, 2006

SALEM, Ore. – Police say a Salem man accidentally shot and killed himself Tuesday morning while he and his family were trying to climb out of a ravine after a car accident.

According to police, 38-year-old Vladimir Gorkavchenko was driving near Detroit early in the morning when he lost control of his minivan.

The car rolled multiple times, before coming to a rest at the bottom of a rocky embankment.

Gorkavchenko, his wife, and their daughter were uninjured in the crash.

Police say Gorkavchenko then removed a rifle from his van to take it with him as the three started climbing out of the ravine.

According to police, Gorkavchenko was using the rifle as a brace as he climbed and apparently slipped, causing the gun to fire a round that hit him in his thumb and his head.

It appears he died as a result of his injuries.

Detectives are continuing to investigate.


you might think that if pat robertson talks with God as much as he claims, that he might have some advance warning of things like this…

2 dead after Robertson’s plane crashes in Conn.
Religious broadcaster’s Learjet downed half mile from airport; 3 survive

GROTON, Conn. – Authorities in Connecticut say two people died after a plane owned by religious broadcaster Pat Robertson went down in heavy fog today.

Robertson was not aboard.

The bodies were recovered from Long Island Sound.

Three other people were in the Learjet 35 when it went down about a half-mile short of the runway at Groton New London Airport. They were able to escape with minor injuries. They were pulled from the water and taken to a hospital in New London.

The plane is registered to Virginia-based Robertson Asset Management. The company is owned by Robertson and is separate from the Christian Broadcasting Network.

Coast Guard officials said the chartered, twin-engine plane took off from Norfolk, Va., and stopped in Atlantic City, N.J., to drop off two passengers before heading to Connecticut.


Cop drove nude to protect leather car seats
By GINA VERGEL

EDISON — After a day of boating and swimming in the summer, Edison police officer Ioannis Mpletsakis said he drove in the nude so he wouldn’t ruin the leather seats in his BMW.

“I was in the Raritan River and a pool with chemicals,” the officer testified in Dunellen Municipal Court yesterday. “I decided, it’s dark out, it’s 10 o’clock at night, and it’s four or five minutes to my house.”

Mpletsakis, 26, took the stand in a trial where he is accused of assault by auto, because a passenger of a truck was injured; hindering apprehension and leaving the scene of an accident.

“It was the most foolish thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve been regretting it for the past 11 months,” Mpletsakis said. “I embarrassed myself, my family and the police department I work for.”

Mpletsakis crashed his 2002 BMW 330is into a box truck on Route 27 near Talmadge Road on July 20.

He testified yesterday that he got out of his car, checked to see the passengers of the truck were OK and ran to conceal his nudity.

Mpletsakis, who was suspended without pay after the July 20 accident, was found by a colleague behind a car in the parking lot of a building about 300 feet away from the scene.

Mpletsakis said he fled because he couldn’t get to a pair of shorts he had stashed on the foot well of the passenger side and didn’t feel safe in the vehicle. He said he ran toward the Pines Manor, where he hoped to get help and use the phone to call police.

“In my state of nakedness, I didn’t want to run down Route 27,” he said. “I didn’t want people to see me like that.”

Mpletsakis said his decision to drive naked was influenced by a love he had for the metallic green BMW, which he said he cared for meticulously.

“Even my family teased me on how I was always out there doing something to it — cleaning it; vacuuming it,” Mpletsakis said.

Middlesex County Assistant Prosecutor Brian Gillet asked Mpletsakis about the amount of alcohol he drank on July 20.

Mpletsakis testified to drinking three beers, but he said the reason he swerved into the box truck was because a third vehicle struck the left side of his BMW.

“I was going straight home,” Mpletsakis told Gillet. “If it wasn’t for that other vehicle, the accident wouldn’t have ever happened.”

Mpletsakis could not describe the third vehicle, which he said “whizzed by” his peripheral vision.

“Everything happened so fast,” he said.

As to why he left the scene of the accident, Mpletsakis said: “No one appeared to be in distress … no one was crying.”

Mpletsakis added the driver and passenger of the box truck were laughing at him when they saw him naked.

Like his colleagues who testified earlier in the trial, Mpletsakis said he would only charge someone with a summons for leaving the scene of the accident after he had all the facts.

“We try to locate the driver to give them the benefit of the doubt,” he said.

Gillet attempted to question Mpletsakis on the nature of a phone call made to his cell phone on the evening before the crash. But Dunellen Municipal Court Judge Joe Leonard sustained an objection by defense attorney Darren M. Gelber.

Gillet was also forbidden from asking about a prior car accident that left Mpletsakis badly injured in 2004. In that accident, Mpletsakis was driving southbound on Route 1 in a 2000 Honda Prelude when the vehicle left the road near Forest Haven Boulevard and struck a concrete wall near the old Ford plant, police said.

The next phase of the trial — motions and summations — will take place at 1 p.m. Monday. The trial is being held in Dunellen to avoid a conflict of interest in Edison.


Warning: Reading this post may be dangerous to your health. – If you have ever seen the Monty Python skit about the Most Dangerous Joke in the World, you will understand. Engrish at it’s all time best.

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