i thought i had a picture of the PHBFH somewhere else in this blog, but apparently i don’t, or, at least, i don’t any longer, since i moved all of my photos out of livejournal, and out of flickr, a while ago, and if it were there, it isn’t any longer… and, to be honest, i did find this picture of the PHBFH in my old flickr folder, with a bunch of other photos that i took on 070515, when ezra graduated from college. ETA: it was here, and i haven’t looked at it for at least 10 years, which is why i didn’t notice when i removed the pictures from flickr and they disappeared.
i put these pictures of her on internet, despite her wishes for me not to do so, because nobody has heard from her in at least five years. the last time i know of anyone hearing from her was about 5 years ago, when ezra got a call from the doctors who had been “taking care of her” at the state mental institution in steilacoom, asking if he was in a position to take care of her. when he said no, that was the last anyone i know of heard anything about her. she was never too keen on taking “medication” of any kind apart from “flower remedies” and herbs that she bought from a local herb tea shop, so my presumption is that she refused to take her medications, and thus was ejected from state care.
as i mentioned the other day, i found a whole pile of black and white negatives that are between 25 and 35 years old, quite a few of which were taken by my friend randy, for inclusion in an issue of Tina Magazine that never got published. we first started talking about “The Trash Issue” when we both were living in bellingham between 1990 and 1993. it gets sort of fuzzy after that, but my recollection is that randy moved away from bellingham in the middle of 1993 and took all of the writings for The Trash Issue with him.
i also have a picture of a whole pile of Tina literature that now, strangely, seems to be for sale at Alta-Glamour… in fact, i have narrowed it down to, either randy’s collection (which is more likely), or less likely it is jim’s collection… but, one collection or another, they somehow went from being in a photo that i took with my camera, with very few changes (none of the tracts, and the addition of The War On Drugs Issue, which is the reason i think it is randy’s… and if they have a ritual object, it is one of the bronze ones, because i have the silver one with the mystic emblems on the reverse side), some time between 1990 and 1993 to being for sale (at OUTRAGEOUS prices) at some rare bookseller, a fact which makes me angrier every time i think about it… 😠
but i digress…
anyway, i have a contact sheet which was marked up with indications of which pictures were to be used in The Trash Issue, and if i could think of some words to put with it, i would publish the posthumous Trash Issue on the church’s web site… because the internet was MADE for The Trash Issue.
i don’t know who took this, or when it was taken, but my impression is that it was taken while i was working at evergreen station organic farm (pulling weeds), which would make ezra about 6. i really enjoy the look on ezra’s face. it’s clear that his parents may not realise it yet, but he knows what’s coming down, and it’s not good. 🤣
by the way, here’s a photo of the PHBFH on internet about which she can do nothing… 🤣
this is my interpretation of the introduction to a cassette by Bob Larson, a toxically obnoxious evangelical so-called “christian” radio preacher who bills himself as “the real exorcist”, with whom i have been interacting, on and off, for the better part of 40 years. he, too, is likely a member of my karass, because, despite my repeated attempts to get him out of my life, he keeps popping up, and i keep responding to him.
i found a whole pile of black and white negatives that are between 25 and 35 years old. possibly older, as i don’t have a great memory for these things, so i keep a list of when things happened. according to that list, the picture above was taken in 1991 or 1992. it was taken to honour the fact that i had just experienced sabikalpasamadhi (सविकल्पसमाधि) for the first (and only) time, on the banks of the skagit river.
i just got back from picking up 182 4″x6″ prints. there are a bunch of pictures of ezra, the PHBFH, randy, and ruth. there are a few pictures of other people, including me, and jim robertson.
there are also a lot of pictures for the legendary “Trash” issue of “Tina Magazine”, which was never published, as well as several pictures of the Tina literature which is now, suspiciously, for sale at Alta-Glamour.
my first try was a “vape pen” from “Ganesh Vapes” (yes, i bought it because of the name) called the “Silver Lamp”, which is a “dual purpose” pen, that takes oil cartridges or concentrates. the oil cartridges last longer, but i have noticed that they’re not as potent as the concentrates. so i tried that, but i had some problems with the battery not holding a charge, so i sent away for my second try, and wangled around with The Gallery (where i bought it) and the manufacturer, Ganesh Vapes — they had a web site when i bought the thing, but now all they’ve got is a “we’re working on the site” message, which is why i haven’t linked to them… 😕
my second try was an “EVOD” pen that i got off amazon. it is a 3-way pen, that takes dry flower, oil cartridges or concentrates. i didn’t like the look of the coils on the concentrate attachment, and the dry flower attachment simply didn’t work as advertised, not to mention the fact that the EVOD battery also didn’t hold a charge for more than a couple of hours, meaning i had to have a charger ready pretty much all the time if i wanted to get as stoned as i usually do… but i started to notice things about the pens, the more attachments i got… and that was that they all fit together.
by that time i had received another battery for the silver lamp, and so i started putting parts together in ways that they didn’t come, originally. i also ordered a couple of other things that i saw on amazon, that i thought were different than they turned out to be.
one result was a “Mystica” palm-sized gadget that held a charge a lot longer than any of the pens, but i didn’t like the coils as well… and reloading it was a pain in the ass, with multiple little parts that all had to be lined up precisely or be ruined… which is made more difficult because of the fact that half of the parts with threads are plastic, and get coated with vapor goo which makes them sticky and even more difficult to handle.
by that point, i was almost ready to go back to the Vaporium (the place where they sold vape stuff for tobacco, and the guy said he vaped cannabis, but couldn’t talk with me about it for legal reasons) when i realised that there’s a place not too far from where i live, which i had actually looked at before (when they weren’t open), called The Green Box (no web site, or i’d link to them).
The Green Box has all kinds of nifty vape gadgets — apparently they’re called “mods” — that all have compatible threads and compatible sizes so that i was, basically, able to build my own, custom “dab rig”, with a battery that holds a charge for two days, the coils from the Silver Lamp, and the vapour globe from the EVOD.
now all i gotta do is get taps and dies for the thread sizes — they’re definitely NOT “standard musical instrument” sizes — and i can start making my own “mods”… 😉
it should be fairly obvious, given my ongoing obsession with The Church of Tina Chopp, that i am impressed by web sites where the person or people involved in creating it did a lot of detailed work over a long period of time in making their part of the web into their own little fantasy world.
one of those places, where the people have put so much work into their site that i’m not sure whether it’s a “for real” site or (like The Church of Tina Chopp) an elaborate joke that took on a life of its own, is the Holotypic Occlupanid Research Group…
seriously… if you have any clue, i would appreciate any input i can get. 😕
Alta-Glamour Inc. (Seattle, WA, U.S.A.) apparently has a whole pile of vintage Tina literature (which i do not have, which makes me kind of wonder exactly where they got it), including twoby me, for vastly inflated prices… i wrote to the seller, saying that i was the original publisher of these items, and what did they think trying to sell my stuff for so much. their response was:
Our zine pricing often indicates the importance we ascribe to a certain item. People often look to our website to establish values of their collection items, and we want to demonstrate, through pricing, that we think these zines are culturally significant.
The price is therefore not necessarily what we can sell the item for, at least now. Our zines are priced to sell — in 15 years, when zines are even more significant and scarce representations of the creativity emanating into the world.
i guess i sort of understand where they’re coming from, but, as the original publisher of those items, i think it’s ridiculous to imagine that they’re ever going to get so much for them. especially as they make no effort whatsoever to acknowledge my work in all of this. i guess i would feel differently if they offered me a cut, and i would definitely feel differently if randy were alive… my guess is that randy would have already raised hell with them over the prices… but, then again, since their collection appears to include a ritual object, there’s an outside chance that they actually acquired them from randy’s father, after his death.
also, i am somewhat alarmed to learn that they have jim robertson’s publication mixed in, as though he was as prominent a Tinite as randy, ian or i. they say “A bullying joke gone too long, these guys are proto-alt-right trolls.” which indicates that they believe jim was connected with the Church of Tina, even though, by the time he published “A Snake!” he had been excommunicated for two years, primarily because of his hateful, politics-obsessed rantings, which is why his publication is “The Journal of the Last Rhythmic Tantrist Church of Tina Chopp (Heretic)”… can’t they tell that it’s an entirely different cult? 😒
to me, that sounds like it is definitely what they would call a “crime scene”.
but, here’s the thing:
The Torrance Police Department said officers responded to a shot-fired call at the location found multiple gunshot victims. Two men were taken to hospital, two opted to seek their own medical attention, and three were pronounced dead at the scene.
if they were part of a crime, and shot at the crime scene, why were they allowed to “seek their own medical attention”? wouldn’t the fact that they were part of a crime scene necessitate the police wanting to know everything possible about their gunshot wounds?
… which includes records that a doctor at a hospital could easily, efficiently, and accurately provide them, but which usually aren’t accepted by the person, about themselves, after the fact…?
especially if people, you know, actually DIED as a result of this “crime”…?
it is as though the police are, essentially, saying “oh, yeah… some guy shot and killed three people and wounded four others, but don’t worry, it’s not a serious crime that we’re talking about here.”