me: hello?

alex: hi this is alex, i’m calling from (some mortgage company)

me: could you tell me how you got this number?

alex: i got it from our marketing department… do you have a fixed rate mortgage?

me: i can’t answer your question in the interests of this investigation. is this your full time job?

alex: is this my full time job?

me: or do you just work part time?

alex: full time, do you have a fixed rate mortgage?

me: i can’t provide you with this information because i need unprejudiced answers. do you also live in washington?

alex: no, i live in san diego, california. do you have a fixed rate mortgage?

me: an answer to this question might jeopardise the partiality of this investigation and it would prove unreliable. how long have you been in the telemarketing business?

alex: telemarketing? but i’m not trying to sell you anything…

me: you are in the business of cold-calling people and asking personal questions, how long have you been in that business?

alex: but i’m not trying to sell you anything…

me: i’m sorry, but the information you ask for is unfortunately not available to you. how long have you been in the telemarketing business?

alex: oh, er, um, five years… more than five years…

me: and do you like your job?

alex: do i like my job?

me: is it a pleasant job?

alex: (says something to somebody on his end of the phone) do i like my job?

me: yes, that’s what i said…

alex: <CLICK!>

i’ve always wanted a spam-caller to hang up on me in frustration!

chalk up another one to the counterscript!!