no, unfortunately, he hasn’t died — YET — but, courtesy of Bacchus and the ErosBlog…

So Donald Trump dies and he goes to hell. And when he gets there, he meets the devil, Mr. Satan himself.

And Satan says to him, listen, you’re definitely meant to be here, but we don’t have any room for you. So in order for us to accept you in, we’re gonna have to let somebody go. He says, but I’m gonna make it fair, and I’m gonna let you choose who gets to leave. So come with me.

So he takes Trump to three different doors, and he says, behind one of these doors is somebody you can set free and take their place. But like I said, I’m gonna let you make the decision.

So Donald Trump opens the first door and he sees Barack Obama, and he’s jumping off a diving board, landing in a pool, getting out of the pool, getting on the diving board and jumping back in. And he’s doing it over and over, repeatedly. And Trump goes, you know, I… I don’t think I can. You know, I don’t think I can do this for eternity. So, no, I don’t think I can do this.

Satan says, all right, we’ll check door number two. So he opens up door number two, and Richard Nixon is in there, and he’s got a hammer and he’s breaking rocks. And he just keeps breaking rocks, breaking rocks just consistently. Like, he breaks one rock, another rock appears. And Trump goes, you know, I got a bad shoulder. You know, golf injury, can’t be doing that either. So let’s go back to, uh… Let’s go check door number three.

So Satan takes him to door number three. And he opens the door and Bill Clinton is strapped to a bed. And Monica Lewinsky comes in and does what Monica Lewinsky was famous for doing, over and over and over again. Trump goes, no, yeah, I think I could… Yeah, I think I can handle this! I could get used to this. So, yeah, I’ll take door number three.

Satan smiles a big smile. Then he says all right, Monica! You’re free to go.

And… scene!