Tag Archives: tina chopp
Tina Chopp is God! Praise Her OR DIE!!
Tina Chopp is God! Praise Her OR DIE!!*
June 6, 2019
by Paul Krugman
Tina Chopp claims that she can “fix anything!” I don’t know about the results of any business big or small, but I certainly know about the results of electing a God.
Citizens of the United States were tired of political campaigns in which voters were supposed to make an informed choice, and come November they chose not to do so. Perhaps that was because political campaigns are often tedious, or because, in 2018, the choices were so severe, or perhaps, as I argued yesterday, because the traditional definition of democracy, which involves an informed choice by voters, had been rendered absurd by the rise of special-interest money in politics. Voters may understand politics in idiosyncratic ways, but they are not rational. They can’t know everything; the information they have is too incomplete and cluttered for anyone to take proper stock of the candidates.
But citizens have not been irrationally inert in general, either. There are times when an informed opinion is just as right as the next one, and there are times when an informed opinion is just as bad as the next one. It is sometimes not even possible to know the difference between them — in recent days, for example, a number of the #MeToo protesters spent all day in the public square, insisting that they knew a lot more than they seemed to, and finally decided that the house was haunted.
The election of a God enables one to ignore the matter altogether, and the designation of such a God, apparently, is self-explanatory. This should not be any kind of problem, because the Bible is faith. And faith does not need to be backed up by anything, and certainly not by objective knowledge, so Chopp can rewrite the Bible as she likes, just as she will rewrite your favorite movie, or your favorite TV show, as she wants, without a single backward glance toward theological detail.
People who mock the idea of electing a God often find themselves apologizing when, like Chopp, they refuse to back up the idea, insisting that a deity is just not necessary. (Especially when a deity so obviously favors Israel!) But it is necessary; this is not a joking matter, in my view. The natural condition of people is self-referential, and we not only judge other people’s quality, but we judge ourselves. Many of us would naturally opt for a God who is on our side.
And the sad truth is that Chopp and her kind seem to be, if not quite an entirely new threat, then a near-complete one. They have replaced democracy, which is now generally pretty awful (but which gives us some rare gains in some areas — civic organizing, campaigning, electoral infrastructure, resistance) with religion, which, while superficially attractive, is also pretty distasteful. Christianity, of course, has always been toxic, but churches even in countries with relatively strong traditions of democracy — Austria, Czechoslovakia, Denmark, Holland, Finland, Iceland, Iceland again — have been susceptible to corrupting tendencies. So too, it seems, has the idea of electing a God.
Some combination of middlebrow and educated parents will remain ready to do their children the honor of having them baptized into a god whose politics are unclear, and who tells her followers to “immediate action!” And if anyone even remotely similar surfaces, but even a relatively uneducated or educated churchgoer won’t mind telling an unbeliever to “please pray.” The fundamental question is this: Are we really serious about denying Chopp her God, or are we just sending a message to those who might — and the decline of political parties makes this more and more certain — become moderates by necessity?
The Trash Issue
as i mentioned the other day, i found a whole pile of black and white negatives that are between 25 and 35 years old, quite a few of which were taken by my friend randy, for inclusion in an issue of Tina Magazine that never got published. we first started talking about “The Trash Issue” when we both were living in bellingham between 1990 and 1993. it gets sort of fuzzy after that, but my recollection is that randy moved away from bellingham in the middle of 1993 and took all of the writings for The Trash Issue with him.
i also have a picture of a whole pile of Tina literature that now, strangely, seems to be for sale at Alta-Glamour… in fact, i have narrowed it down to, either randy’s collection (which is more likely), or less likely it is jim’s collection… but, one collection or another, they somehow went from being in a photo that i took with my camera, with very few changes (none of the tracts, and the addition of The War On Drugs Issue, which is the reason i think it is randy’s… and if they have a ritual object, it is one of the bronze ones, because i have the silver one with the mystic emblems on the reverse side), some time between 1990 and 1993 to being for sale (at OUTRAGEOUS prices) at some rare bookseller, a fact which makes me angrier every time i think about it… 😠
but i digress…
anyway, i have a contact sheet which was marked up with indications of which pictures were to be used in The Trash Issue, and if i could think of some words to put with it, i would publish the posthumous Trash Issue on the church’s web site… because the internet was MADE for The Trash Issue.
Blob Lardstone – 190119, by Ralph Ewggleigh
this is my interpretation of the introduction to a cassette by Bob Larson, a toxically obnoxious evangelical so-called “christian” radio preacher who bills himself as “the real exorcist”, with whom i have been interacting, on and off, for the better part of 40 years. he, too, is likely a member of my karass, because, despite my repeated attempts to get him out of my life, he keeps popping up, and i keep responding to him.
i found a whole pile of black and white negatives that are between 25 and 35 years old. possibly older, as i don’t have a great memory for these things, so i keep a list of when things happened. according to that list, the picture above was taken in 1991 or 1992. it was taken to honour the fact that i had just experienced sabikalpasamadhi (सविकल्पसमाधि) for the first (and only) time, on the banks of the skagit river.
i just got back from picking up 182 4″x6″ prints. there are a bunch of pictures of ezra, the PHBFH, randy, and ruth. there are a few pictures of other people, including me, and jim robertson.
there are also a lot of pictures for the legendary “Trash” issue of “Tina Magazine”, which was never published, as well as several pictures of the Tina literature which is now, suspiciously, for sale at Alta-Glamour.
now i gotta get started scanning them. 😉
more tina chopp
Alta-Glamour Inc. (Seattle, WA, U.S.A.) apparently has a whole pile of vintage Tina literature (which i do not have, which makes me kind of wonder exactly where they got it), including two by me, for vastly inflated prices… i wrote to the seller, saying that i was the original publisher of these items, and what did they think trying to sell my stuff for so much. their response was:
Our zine pricing often indicates the importance we ascribe to a certain item. People often look to our website to establish values of their collection items, and we want to demonstrate, through pricing, that we think these zines are culturally significant.
The price is therefore not necessarily what we can sell the item for, at least now. Our zines are priced to sell — in 15 years, when zines are even more significant and scarce representations of the creativity emanating into the world.
i guess i sort of understand where they’re coming from, but, as the original publisher of those items, i think it’s ridiculous to imagine that they’re ever going to get so much for them. especially as they make no effort whatsoever to acknowledge my work in all of this. i guess i would feel differently if they offered me a cut, and i would definitely feel differently if randy were alive… my guess is that randy would have already raised hell with them over the prices… but, then again, since their collection appears to include a ritual object, there’s an outside chance that they actually acquired them from randy’s father, after his death.
also, i am somewhat alarmed to learn that they have jim robertson’s publication mixed in, as though he was as prominent a Tinite as randy, ian or i. they say “A bullying joke gone too long, these guys are proto-alt-right trolls.” which indicates that they believe jim was connected with the Church of Tina, even though, by the time he published “A Snake!” he had been excommunicated for two years, primarily because of his hateful, politics-obsessed rantings, which is why his publication is “The Journal of the Last Rhythmic Tantrist Church of Tina Chopp (Heretic)”… can’t they tell that it’s an entirely different cult? 😒
oh my… TINA!!!
Abe Books seller Alta-Glamour has 4 copies of Tina Magazine for sale… FOR TWO HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS A PIECE!!!
🤯 🙄 🤣
on the other hand, if they actually think they can get that much for them, i may have a few other publications from that era that i would be willing to sell them. 😉
farcebook tina chopp seattle vintage
i am now the owner of a rosy boa constrictor named Ebeneezer Squeezer II… Praise The Holy Snake! 🙂
Public Ritual Vegetable Sacrifice for Trolloween!
this is the first Public Ritual Vegetable Sacrifice i’ve held for a while, and because of the fact that it’s going to be part of the Trolloween celebration (the Fremont Troll was unveiled on halloween in 1990), it will be an abbreviated form of the ritual, in which the public will not be given the opportunity to sacrifice their own vegetables… until later…
i’m going to have to make sure to remember to mention that when i am doing the public reading, before the actual sacrifice… that’s a really good point…
this year i’m making a slight change in the sacrificial victim, as well. because of the fact that i am going to be sacrificing it with a sword, instead of the more regular gravity and ground, and because of the fact that i will be surrounded by people, i have actually filled the pumpkin with halloween candy, rather like a piñata, which i intend to spread as far as it will go. beforehand, i’m going to read a passage from The Book of Randy, which is Book 11 of the Books of Tina Chopp, in honour of Rev. Osiris Ranebo, although i doubt too many other people will recognise that fact.
they’re really desperate for people to help with crowd control – last year the parade included 150 to 200 members of the public, and the parade crosses two major thoroughfares, and according to the most recent email that was sent out, they’re still short 6 people. i tried to get ian interested, but he’s doing something else that involves a family that is staying at his house while they try to get into emergency housing.
THE PUBLIC IS ENCOURAGED TO ATTEND!
ETA: i just found a sermon that i delivered at a vegetable sacrifice in 2001 which i totally don’t remember giving at all… it’s too bad, too, because i would really like to remember having that dream… 😐
And More – Do We Give A Shit? – listen to this music while reading this post. 8)
so i went to check The Church of Tina Chopp‘s mailbox today, and i got this, extremely curious letter, which is very difficult to read:
Juliana van StolBergstraat 30
2805 CN Gouda
CHURCH OF TINA CHOPP
P.O. Box 1864
Gouda, 2 Augustus 2012
At 19 Januar 2010 I have wrote you a letter
And i have seen on Internet, the site: PRZXqGl.HYBRiDElEPHANT.
COM, my letter was on it.
I don’t have never give permission to insert it on Internet.
I also won’t it to see my letter on Internet.
Because I am a Christian and I don’t stay any longer after the pur-
port of this letter, and I reject it.
Sexuality is a holy thing, and is only permit between married couples.
Therefore, I will ask you; please remove my letter from Internet,
and destroy my letter they I have send YOU, at 19 Januar 2010,
Thank you very much in advance.
ordinarily, i would remove the letter and say no more about it, but this guy is, either, really crazy, or has just converted to “christianity” and doesn’t want is “sin” to be known. if he is really crazy, then i don’t have a problem with posting his insanity online, especially since it was addressed to me, and regardless of whether or not he gives permission for it to be posted on internet, i have no problem with it. if he just converted to “christianity” and is trying to cover up his previous indiscretions, then i feel i have an obligation to post it, just to show the “christians” that they are just as “sinful” as everyone else, regardless of how “holy” they may now feel…
and either way, i think it’s really amusing that he would randomly send me snailmail almost three years ago, and just be taking offense at what i did with it now, almost three years later. it reminds me very much of Morena Cobbs‘ lame attempt to get her name removed from internet…
not to mention the fact that, apparently, leo steijn also sent mail to The Church of Moo (apparently the voice behind the usenet newsgroup alt.cows.moo.moo.moo), AND The Church of Virus. apparently, at one point, leo steijn was in search of bizarre churches, but now he has apparently decided that “christianity” is the only one, and all of those other “bizarre” churches have to be condemned… sorry, it doesn’t work that way… 😐
now i can post a picture of my halloween costume without the possibility of anyone recognising me…unfortunately, there wasn’t any public ritual vegetable sacrifice, but i’m quite positive that there was private vegetable sacrifice… 😉
i found out what is wanted with BSSB web site… it turns out that she likes the “fold-up navigation menus” and wants them on the BSSB site… and, when the BSSB site has enough content to permit “fold-up navigation menus”, that’s what she’ll get. of course, i’m in charge of web design… the actual content has to be someone else’s responsibility…
otherwise the site may well end up looking like The Church of Tina Chopp… 8)
so a while ago i got the idea to make animations that were reciting the books of tina chopp…
i actually went so far as to create the first 6 cantos of the book of children… before xtranormal changed how things are done… i had to buy “xtranormal points” in december, so that i could finish an unfinished animation. but now it turns out that i will make no more animations at xtranormal after i run out of “points”, because they have now made it so that you have to pay to make animations.
previously, they had a few scenarios that were free, and you had to pay to make more elaborate movies – which was just fine with me – but now you have to “pay” what they’re calling “xtranormal points” in order to make any animations. it would be fine if you were able to accumulate these “xtranormal points” in less offensive ways than “convincing your friends to sign up” and that sort of thing, but they’ve actually got a way to “buy xtranormal points” with actual money, and that goes against my grain…
especially when they originally offered the service for free… 😐
not only that, but i guess they assume that people don’t really care what their animated characters look like, because they now have a bunch of “new” characters, like “chuchus” and “luchadors” and “dummies” and “presidents” and “historical figures” and “fútbol” that are very definitely not appropriate vehicles for the dissemination of profound spiritual knowledge… or something like that…
in any event, i will not be using xtranormal in the future, unless they change things again. i’m not ruling anything out, but i don’t want to have to pay for things like this.
i suppose that if i had thought about it a little bit, i could have anticipated this, but it’s still anoying. 😐
um… what the fuck?!?
i came across this link in my alerts this morning… the graphics are hotlinked directly from some other site, all of the other links are “internal” (i.e. they link to other pages at simpleplanrock4eva dot com), it doesn’t make any sense…
my guess is that it’s somehow connected to spam, and probably not in a good way, but… what the fuck?!?
the book of children
since geico made their xtranormal commercial, things have changed: apparently the characters and sets that used to be free are no longer free, which includes the character and the set in chapter 6. i don’t know if this is because they have introduced new free characters, or if it is because they changed their business model (which they didn’t tell me about). one way or the other, i had to spend actual money to get this published, and if i’m going to have to spend more money to get future books published, i’m probably not going to do so… fortunately i made hi-res downloads of all the books…
The Book of Children, chapter 5
progress… sort of…
The Book of Children, chapter 4, cantos 1 through 5. this time, if the embed doesn’t work, your only option is xtranormal, because for some reason it has stopped uploading to my youtube channel… 😐
ETA: i’ve wangled around a way to upload the video to youtube, but it’s still giving me weird, intermittent, “unknown error” problems…
also, i almost forgot, today is #fezfriday and i forgot to post my fez picture, so…
The Book of Children, canto 3
The Books of Tina Chopp, book 1, canto 3, chapter 1, verses 1 through 6. as before, if the embed doesn’t work, you can also view it at YouTube or XtraNormal.
as before, if the embed doesn’t work, you can also see it at XtraNormal or YouTube.
this is fun. i’m going to have to re-do the third canto, though. for some reason, it’s still “shooting this video” in spite of the fact that it’s been 12 hours since i sent it to “production”…
if the embed doesn’t work, you can try YouTube or XtraNormal which should work just fine. this was a proof of concept project. because of the fact that it came out so well (i only had to adjust one word, because of “mispronounciation” of the word “LIVE” which can be pronounced either /liv/ or /laiv/ and there’s no way to distinguish between the two), there will doubtless be more like it in the near future. now you are one step closer to having your own Vegetable Sacrifice ceremonies of your own, without any knowledge of The Books of Tina Chopp! 🙂
oh, yeah… the URI for the correct book is http://www.ebeneezer.net/doctrine/tbot/1/1.html… somehow the one on XtraNormal got duplicated, and i don’t want to go back and fix it.
that didn’t take long…
so on 10 january, i filed a support ticket with my new host provider, cpanel-host.us, that email wasn’t working the way it was supposed to. two days later, i learned that my clients’ email, and the BSSB mailing list wasn’t working at all, and i filed a support ticket about that, as well. on the 14th, they (finally) responded saying that the mail servers had been fixed. then, on 15 january, i got an email saying that mailing lists were now forbidden, and if i had a mailing list on my account on the 17th, my account would be suspended. i wrote back to them, asking if they were serious about suspending my account two days after they had helped me get my mailing list working, and their response was “yes”…
but at the same time, i got email from my previous host provider, IsMyReseller.com. apparently he felt guilty for saying that he wanted to raise my rates almost 300% (from $5 a month to $18 a month). i wrote back to him saying that it was all well and good that he was feeling guilty, but what was preventing him from doing the same thing again in a month, or five, when he, once again, discovers that he isn’t making enough money from me. his response was to send me a .pdf of a document that says he will charge me $6.50 a month for the life of the account.
so i switched back.
the thing that’s really amazing is that he took me from a backup to being up and running in a little more time – 15 minutes or so – than the time it took him to download the backup from my old host… and that includes all of my databases, my email addresses and my mailing list.
i find this somewhat unusual. nobody has ever tried to get me back as a customer. usually if i decide not to be somebody’s customer any longer, it is for a very specific reason which the person has no intent of changing. this guy said that he actually felt guilty for asking to raise my rates, and as soon as he had a way to continue running his company without raising my rates, he emailed me immediately.
cpanel-host.us (the second to the last host) was saying that my email address was sending mail to 50 addresses at once (which is true) and that this was causing unusual server stress. i know from my days at openwave that 5,000 emails a day isn’t uncommon (i’ve even still got a script that sends anywhere from 100 to 100,000,000 emails to any address or addresses you put in to it, but it only works with openwave mail server software), especially for a mail server that has a lot of users, so i was sort of wondering why it was a problem, to which they responded that they were afraid some spammer would gain access to my mailing list and have their IP address blacklisted. they obviously chose the wrong person to accuse of being a potential spammer.
and the fact that IsMyReseller.com on top of the email problems which were what the previous host provider was balking at doesn’t hurt his chances either… 😉
now as long as it stays this way for a few months, maybe i’ll have the chance to wind down from this semi-permanent state of panic that i’ve been in ever since december of 2008, when i decided to switch from drizzle to 1&1…
in other news, i went to check my PO box today and found this very amusing letter:
Juliana van StolBergstraat 30
2805 CN Gouda
CHURCH OF TINA CHOPP
P.O. Box 1864
Gouda, 10 January 2010
Dear Tina Chopp,
My name is Leo Steijn and I live in the Netherlands.
I have look at your very interesting site, and for more information must I be contacted the Church, What I now do.
Please, gife me if you will more information about the Snake Destiny and what he is theach, also the secrets about bizarre sex.
Another question, is your church also be present in the Netherlands? If so, than I like it to come in contact with your members. Can you please bring me in contact with them. I will be very thankfull for it!
I hope to hear soon of you.
With kindest regards,
i don’t have e-mail
gee, where do i even start with this letter…? i know a couple of people who live in the netherlands, but i’m not sure if they would be willing to contact this guy about the Church of Tina, and even if they were willing, i’m not sure they’re properly prepared to be representatives of the Church, but at the same time, what other choice do i have?
i got a clarinet from freecycle, and i’m really glad that i got it before anybody else, because it
has had a broken key that would have driven the cost of repairing it up over $100. this is also one of the reasons that i recommend people who “know a little bit about musical instrument repair” don’t try to fix their instruments themselves. the clarinet was worthless with the broken key, and the most common way of “fixing” it that i have seen on other instruments i’ve worked on over the years has been “superglue”… which not only doesn’t work, but then I have to clean up the superglue from the key and the instrument before i can get down to the task of actually fixing it. the progress has been posted, and the rest of it should be finished and posted tomorrow.
also, i found more erzatz “Tina Chopp is God” material on cafepress, so i sent them a DMCA notice last week – not expecting that they would respond, and not being sure what the procedure is once they didn’t respond – and today i got email from a “content usage associate” who said
Thank you for your November 16, 2009 notification regarding the possible infringement of your rights by a user of our service. In accordance with our Intellectual Property Rights Policy, we have prevented the user from using the images on products for sale through their store.
geez, if i had known that it was that easy, i would have written them a long time ago, because various people who aren’t associated with the Church of Tina Chopp have been profiting from our God for at least 5 years. it’s enough to make me want to see if it might be possible to market Tina Chopp myself, since i now can.
and there’s a couple in california who is using cannabis – very successfully, i might add – to treat their child’s autism. will wonders never cease…
how _not_ to get me as a customer…
i have to find another host provider. one that isn’t sleazy and will continue to rip me off, one that will allow all of my domains and one which will give me the maximum amount of disk space, bandwidth and mySQL databases for the least amount of money. hostgator and hostmonster are out of the question, because they won’t take all of my domains – there’s this sticky phrase in both of their terms of service that says, essentially, if you post a web site that doesn’t agree with what we say about “gawd”, then we won’t allow you to host it here, which eliminates the church of tina right away. of course i could just drop the church site all together, but that is something that i simply refuse even to consider at this point.
here’s another example of dipshit tech support that doesn’t get me as a customer:
do you allow web sites to be hosted on your service that contain “profane” material, such as can be seen at http://www.ebeneezer.org/ ?
i cannot find any active hosting account for the domain ebeneezer.org with us
i know… i’m in the process of doing my homework in preparation for switching host providers, because my current one won’t allow ebeneezer.org and didn’t tell me until after i already had the domain up and running…
i wantt o know if <REDACTED> will allow me to put up ebeneezer.org, or if i should look for a host somewhere else.
for that please take an hosting account with us
for that please contact our billing dept
Please contact them by posting a ticket to BILLING dept by
Or urgent needs, you can contact them over phone on billing hours.
10AM – 4PM EDT Monday – Friday
if i “take an hosting account” with you, and you decide that i can’t put up ebeneezer.org, then i will be in the same position i am now. what i want to know is if you will allow me to put up that site before i take a hosting account with you.
please refer for more info related to hosting
that only tells me how much it will cost, not whether or not a web site with “profane” content will be allowed.
please select any of the mentioned hosting plans
after taking an hosting account with us
we will restore your account with us
and your domain will works fine from our server
i don’t have an account. i am wondering if i should get an account… do you speak and read english? i’m getting the impression that i should go somewhere else… 8/
do you have any active hosting on ebeneezer.org?
what do you mean? it is currently a web site that is accessible by internet, and people hit it fairly regularly…
do you want to transfer the hosting of ebeneezer.org with us?
that’s what i have been talking about all along…
please contact our billing dept for a new hosting account
Please contact them by posting a ticket to BILLING dept by
?Or urgent needs, you can contact them over phone on billing hours.
?10AM – 4PM EDT Monday – Friday
not until i know wnether or not that domain will be allowed!
or can email them at [email protected]<REDACTED>
for more info please contact our billing dept
they don’t have a toll free phone number, they’re on the east coast, which means that by 1:00 pm they’re already closed, and they employ pathetic geek-wannabes like scott abrams to do tech support over “live chat” for them. i guess i’m not going to be hosting with <REDACTED>…
at this point i’m consdidering ANRHost (who replied almost immediately with a message that said “yes we will host all your sites”), i haven’t gotten a reply from DH2 dot net yet, and i’m looking at others, but the whole thing is really depressing. as bfly says, “<southern drawl>that freedom yew want is gonna cost ya’, boah.</southern drawl>”