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before my injury i had bizarre, vivid dreams sometimes as much as 5 or 6 times a week, but since my injury i haven’t dreamed at all, and have only had a dream that is bizarre and vivid enough that i can remember it upon waking only once or twice. then there was the other night, when i had this very vivid dream that i can’t forget…

i was at the oregon country fair, but it was different: it was surrounded by suburban neighbourhoods, the long tom wasn’t there, and the whole thing was more or less square. i was performing with the fremont philharmonic, and i was travelling with a group of people who were dressed as pirates, and i had a couple of “handguns” that were more like paintball guns – extremely low velocity devices that shot a single ball approximately 2cm in diameter, and then had to be reloaded – except that they looked like they were from the 17th century. we were coming in to the fairgrounds from the surrounding neighbourhood and while we were waiting in line, i “shot” my pistols at a group of people further up in line than where we were, but the velocity of the shot was low enough that the ball actually bounced a couple of times before it got to them. i remember them making some comment about the shot being a “soda roll”. then, when we got to the gate, somebody stopped me and took me aside and explained that, because of the fact that i had “shot” someone, i wasn’t going to be allowed in. i explained to them that i was a member of one of the groups that was performing, and i even showed them my pass. i also explained that the velocity of the “shot” was too low to be a danger to anyone, and mentioned the fact that they had commented about the “soda roll” shots that i had taken. there was a good deal of communication between the guy who had taken me aside and some other person or people who were apparently authorities over the guy who had taken me aside, with me insisting that, 1) i couldn’t possibly have hoped to hurt the people that i shot at because they were so low velocity, and 2) i was a member of a performing group and without me, the performance wouldn’t happen. then, for no very obvious reasons, the guy who had taken me aside said that it was okay, that i could get in anyway, but he told me not to load my pistols again. i couldn’t figure out why he had changed his mind all of a sudden like that, but he assured me that everything was okay and i could continue on my way into the fair, so i took off as quickly as possible before he changed his mind again. i ended up catching up with the other pirates and made it back to wherever it was that we were going, but when it was time to get ready for the performance, i couldn’t find my tuba. after about a half hour of frantically looking for it everywhere, i figured out where i had left it, but instead of being my tuba, it was a completely disassembled brass sousaphone: all of the bows, braces and bits had been removed, cleaned and the dents removed, and everything was organised so that it could be put back together fairly easily, but hadn’t yet been soldered back together. then, somehow, the guy who had taken me aside at the front gate was there, and he explained that this was because of the fact that i had “shot” someone at the front gate. he said that i was welcome to do what i wanted to with the sousaphone, but my (fully assembled) tuba was no longer part of the situation…

which frustrated me enough that i woke up…

8/