for some unknown reason, the CD-ROM on my linux box isn’t responding. df lists an ATAPI compatible disk drive, and /dev/hdc is where it’s located, but when i su and mnt /dev/hdc /mnt/cdrom, it tells me there’s “no media available”, in spite of the fact that i distinctly remember putting media in the drive before doing the mnt command – i even remember closing the drawer – but there’s “no media available”. after looking through the CD-ROM HOWTO, i’m afraid that it’s going to mean recompiling my kernel, which i have never done, and don’t have the first clue about how to go about, before i’ll have access to my CD drive… so it may be a while before i get to play around with ubuntu. 8P


today was a very long day that started at 9:00 in the morning with an hour long interview with some lady drone from social security asking me probing, personal questions: yes, i am applying for SSDI again, even though i’m fairly sure i won’t be approved. ned seems to think that i’ll be approved on appeal, but to get to the appeal process i have to go through the application-and-denial process again – i’ve already been through the application-and-denial process twice, but i didn’t appeal because: 1) the application-and-denial process was intensely degrading and depressing, and 2) i was working at the time and it didn’t matter that much anyway. apparently moe makes too much money for me to be eligible for SSI, the lady assured me of that after having only talked to me for five minutes. it seems really odd that my “reward” for being as recovered as i am is that i can’t find a job because of my injury, but i’m not eligible for disability because i’m not injured enough. it’s even more odd because the people who foist this travesty off on me are intensely proud of the fact that it’s a catch-22. 8/

fortunately – (?) for my state of mind anyway – the day ended up with the first real, complete rehearsal for the “Nelson Sings Nilsson” gig, which is happening on friday. it sounds really good – almost exactly like the CD, which i think is precisely what everybody wants. i am also acutely aware of the fact that this gig is several orders of magnitude above what i am used to playing for in terms of the quality of the musical talent, and the fact that i was chosen to play in it as well says very good things about me, in spite of the depressing stuff that’s going on. i’m only playing on 4 songs, out of 15, so i actually get to watch, as well as perform. then i’ve got saturday and sunday performances with snow white and the three dorfs.

from what i understand, the fremont phil is boycotting the fremont winter feast this year, primarily because stuart’s going to be out of state, but also because the only way to get invited is to be a paid member of the fremont arts council, plus donating $10 worth of material goods per person attending, plus donation of time building the space… it apparently doesn’t matter that we are providing at least part of the entertainment, they want all of the other stuff anyway, or we can’t get invitations… so i don’t know what i’m doing for winter solstice this year, for the first year in a very long time indeed. hopefully moe won’t be working, which she was last year, and we can bring back the sun on our own.