on 241016, i received an incense order. the customer wanted ONE BOX of 999 Lord Krishna Puja Agarbatti — which costs $5 — and he wanted me to ship it to malasia…

to avoid having to set up complicated “zones” for shipping, i have shipping set up on a “flat rate” basis, which is, for domestic orders, you can order up to $60 worth of product, and the shipping is a flat rate of $18. anything more than $60, and the shipping is 30% of the total amount of your order. for international packages, you can order up to $150 worth of product, and the shipping is a flat rate of $30. anything more than $150, and the shipping is 20% of the total amount of your order.

this is CLEARLY stated on my Shipping & Returns page.

i STOPPED asking if the customer REALLY wants to spend more for shipping than they are spending for incense, a LONG time ago: it slows down delivery, because i have to email the customer, and then wait for an answer (which, frequently, never comes), BEFORE i can ship out their order, and i find it incredibly difficult to figure out how to say that they are paying more for shipping than for incense without sounding INCREDIBLY condescending. at a certain point, i have decided that they should KNOW what they’re doing, and, besides, i make more money that way.

so i sent this guy ONE BOX of incense… for $35…

on 241017, not even 24 hours after i sent his package, he sent me this email:

It will be nice if you get my tracking number from whichever courier company you are using to ship out what I paid for it, I can’t be waiting blindly without knowing status or current location of my parcel. I have been buying products from the USA for over 15yrs now and I always receive a tracking number of whichever courier service it been sent from. Kindly endeavor that tracking number is sent to me and my parcel should be swift delivery of 4days maximum like it has always been.

i ship internationally with USPS. this is because other carriers (DHL, UPS, FedEx, etc.) have EXTREMELY poor reputations when shipping internationally… combined with the fact that they frequently, either, ship using USPS and charge more, or they lose packages, and charge more. this has been true for AT LEAST 10 years.

when shipping internationally with USPS, however, unfortunately, they do not offer tracking, like they do with domestic service, however they do offer a “US Customs ID” number, which can be used for tracking, as long as the package is in the united states, and, FREQUENTLY whatever local postal service is involved will pick up the “US Customs ID” and track it, once it reaches it’s destination country.

however, i have never(!) shipped anything to malasia, so i, literally, DON’T KNOW how long it will take, and, significantly, regardless of where it’s going, i HAVE NO CONTROL over how long a package will take to reach its destination, once it leaves my hands.

so i responded, explaining that i had never shipped anything to malasia, so i didn’t know how long it would take to get there, and repeated my message concerning the “US Customs ID number”, in case he had missed it.

on 241023, he wrote me again:

What is the status of the package I paid for since last week? Where’s is the parcel current location? Been waiting for days with no idea.

i checked the US Customs ID, and determined that the package had left the united states, and was currently in japan. he responded, the same day, with this message:

This is ridiculous. I bought a product of $5 and you changed me $30 for shipment yet it didn’t occur to you to ship out my order as priority delivery for it to be delivered within 4-5 days. I just check status of the delivery and find out that is still within the USA like WTF is this nonsense? Why charge so high for shipping fees and not make it a priority delivery? DHL service would have delivered this parcel within 4days but you chose to use USPS who are known for poor service when it comes to delivery abroad 😠😠😠

🙄

once again, i reiterated my “clearly stated” shipping charges, and the fact that DHL would have taken longer and cost more, and said “if you are dissatisfied with our service, when your package arrives, you can return it, unopened, for a full refund.”

on 241029, he regaled me with this choice morsel:

Hello.For heaven sake, where is my order? Where on earth is the order I paid for since 17th of October? Today is 30th October and I haven’t receive what I paid for or know the way about of what I paid for. DHL won’t take up to 13days to deliver my order. Where for God sake is my order? 😠😠

🙄🙄

so, to make sure that i had done everything WITHIN MY POWER to please him, i refunded his entire order, and told him so.

on 241030, this was his response:

WHAT? I BEG YOUR PARDON! AFTER WASTING 13 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND TIME WAITING? WHAT KIND OF NONSENSE IS THIS? I’M YET TO RECEIVE MY REFUND IN MY ACCOUNT. THIS IS ABSOLUTELY NONSENSE 😠😠😠😠😠😠

🙄🙄🙄🙄

so, i copied and pasted the response that square sent me regarding his refund: “Your customer with Visa card ending in 3753 should see this reflected on their statement within the next 2-7 business days.” i also informed him that i would no longer be responding to his abusive emails.

and that SHOULD HAVE BEEN the end of it…

but, NO!

on 241106, he sent me this message:

Hello, I intentionally didn’t reply to your last email all this days because I was waiting for the timeframe you gave me. One thing you should bear in mind is customers are always right. I paid for product since 17th of October and till date I haven’t receive what i paid for or my money, and you expect me to be quiet. Not as if this is my first time buying things from USA and getting it delivered to me within 5days of purchase. I’m writing to inform you that my money hasn’t reflect in my account yet, neither have I receive what I paid for. You said 2-7 working days from the last email you sent me.

to which i responded:

sometimes, regardless of how much you want to please everyone, it is impossible to do so. this is one of those cases.

and, sometimes, in spite of everything, the customer is wrong, and must be informed of that fact.

i have refunded your order, as can be seen by the attached screen shot.

if you haven’t received your refund, it’s not my fault. check with your bank.

there is nothing more i can do. ranting at me will do no one any good.

this morning, 241108, he wrote me AGAIN:

I’m writing in respect of the parcel. It came in today and was delivered to me, likewise the refund you send back to me, The money reflected in my account today. I think is unfair to be in possession of the incense I purchase from you and also my money back into my account. Please advise me on how to send the money back to you.

what follows is the response i WANTED to send, but cooler heads prevailed upon me not to:

it’s all good, there is no need to send me the money. i figure if $35 is all it takes to get rid of a rude, unpleasant customer, then it’s money well spent.

just keep this in mind the next time you feel compelled to send out nasty, ranting emails to people on the other side of the world.

also, if you never again bring your business to my web site, that would be a good thing.

instead, i sent this, somewhat more “tactfully” worded message:

it’s all good. consider the refund an exchange for the shipping delay.

in the future, you might try purchasing from Divine Mystic Lodge — https://www.divinemysticlodge.com/product/999-lord-krishna-puja/

it’s a smaller package, that costs less, but LET THEM DEAL WITH HIM… seriously!

now THIS is where it gets REALLY BIZARRE!! 😖

he responded again:

Thank so much, I really appreciate and sorry for the misunderstanding, is due to how urgent I needed the incense for spiritual prayer 🙏

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄‼‼‼

i’m sorry, jack… you NEED some serious self examination and reflection, so that you can figure out how your spiritual life has gotten THAT FAR off the rails, if you think this kind of thing is an appropriately “spiritual” response to “suffering”. 😒