Category Archives: poop

budgies, diverticulitis, moe

oh yeah… this…

two of the budgies — the ones that came from ian — apparently are unsymptomatic carriers of a disease that, when disease-free birds are in their presence, bad things happen to the disease-free birds. and, apparently, more than 40% of pet birds are unsymptomatic carriers… apparently, they have only recently determined that this disease exists, which means that they don’t know very much about it, yet, and testing for it means sending samples to a testing lab… so, we gave the two birds back to ian, after losing one of our own budgies, and almost losing another one. at this point, we’ve got two “baby” birds, grover and fozzie, and one remaining bird from the disease fiasco, bert, but bert has been in isolation for a few days. ernie and bert were the ones that went back and forth from work, with moe, but, with ernie dead, that whole scene has been disrupted.

the whole dog-training facility scene is scheduled to reach its current climax the last week of may, and moe has been overwhelmed with emails, and phone calls, and meetings, and this, that, and the other thing in preparation. she’s kind of got to hit the ground running at a speed faster than she can run, because she’s got to start IMMEDIATELY making about three times as much money as the business has been bringing in, because the former owners have been paying on a mortgage that was put in place 20 years ago, and moe is paying on a mortgage that was put in place yesterday. to start out with, that means putting more classes on the schedule, but all of the infrastructure to do that, including the class instructors, is in flux, because the old owners are retiring and moe hasn’t taken possession yet. it sounds as though moe knows what she’s doing, and has everything under control, but there’s a lot of running around, shouting, and arm-waving going on, which makes me (who is only vaguely informed about all of this) kind of nervous.

i’m still thinking that i’m probably going to have another flare-up of diverticulitis, eventually, but it hasn’t happened, yet, which is also making me kind of nervous.

i wrote to proto-pipe llc about my pipe which the stem broke off of, and they said that they can fix it for me, so i’ve got it all packaged up and ready to ship out tomorrow. i have another one, but it is brand new from the manufacturer, never even been unwrapped, and i want to keep it pristine.

oh, also, my “left-handed” mouse started acting like it was possessed by demons, so i got another, right-handed mouse, went to “System Settings -> Input Devices -> Mouse” and chose “Left handed mode”, and, by gum, it works! fuck the more expensive, demon-possessed mouse that was “made for left-handers”! i got a perfectly good, 3-button mouse for $10 that works just fine!

diverticulitis, incense, moisture festival, pictures

brfsgl

i am not having diverticulitis symptoms, but i am worried that it’s just a matter of time before they appear. i REALLY DO NOT want to restrict my diet, but i am seriously afraid that this will be necessary, in order to keep me alive and in good health. the problem with dying is that it has either got to be something that happens instantaneously, possibly by accident, or i will be forced to live through increasing periods of ill-health (like diverticulitis) until i finally croak… and, to be honest, i would VASTLY PREFER the former to the latter. 😒💀

this may be part of the reason i am so taken with the idea of flying trapeze, despite the fact that i am in no shape for it…

i got an incense order, today, from somebody who lives a ten-minute drive away from micah broslofsky, an old friend of monique’s and mine, who lives on oahu in hawaii… and the guy who ordered the incense, apparently, doesn’t know our friend micah. busy, busy, busy…

260401 salamandir at the moisture festival
260401 salamandir at the moisture festival
it’s too bad i can’t feel this good, and look this sharp, all the time. 😉

health, kestrel, moe, philharmonic, poop, quill, snake suspenderz / alive, spam

upd ate

i have been sick for the past 5 days. at this point, i’m FINALLY shaking it off, to a certain extent, but it has been extremely exhausting. on thursday, the 12th, i went to bed, feeling marginal, and, during the night, i experienced the most extreme case of uncontrolled diarrhea and vomitting that i have ever experienced. 🤢🤮 then, thursday night, it snowed about 10 inches, which (naturally) caused the power to go out for most of friday. i thought i might be getting better, but between friday and saturday it just got worse, i spent all of saturday and sunday, next to the toilet, or asleep. monday it actually started getting better. tuesday i actually ate solid food, and kept it down, and today it feels like i might ACTUALLY be getting better…

WHOO-WEE!! getting old REALLY SUCKS!!! 😠👎👎‼‼ if someone had told me about this when i was 30, i would have made a much more concerted effort to actually DIE WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE… 😒

the fremont phil has one more rehearsal before the moisture festival, which, personally, i feel is nowhere near enough. snakez alive was going to busk today, but what with my not being sure whether or not i COULD busk, combined with thaddeus having to take his dog to the vet, we didn’t… which, theoretically, leaves two (or possibly three, if i want to busk, go home, change clothes, and return to seattle for the first day of the fremont phil at the moisture festival) days of busking before we have a night at the moisture festival. at this point, i’m not expecting very quality work from the phil, but snakez alive is going to BRING THE HOUSE DOWN with our version of “Der Fuehrer’s Face”, by Spike Jones

moe had “successful arthroscopic surgery on her knee” on friday the 6th (so she didn’t have the chance to get pooped on by a pigeon — it’s a Bobs reference. look it up.) and has been off work for the past two weeks, but she’s going to new york, tomorrow, for five days, to lecture a bunch of veterinarians on the correct use of the clicker to train dogs, which means that i will be left alone, here at home, with two dogs who do okay with moe, but when moe is not around, they feel like they don’t have to listen to me because i don’t use the clicker correctly, don’t have the right treats, or simply because they don’t feel like it, so that should be interesting. moe has been given an incredible business opportunity, which, if it happens, should increase her repute as THE “dog whisperer”, but it’s still up-in-the-air enough that i don’t want to give away the plot before it gets more finalised.

and the spam text messages have been increasing dramatically over the past few weeks. they have gone from 1 to 5 messages per day, to the current 5 to 20 messages per day, and they have gotten more and more ridiculous, which, in this particular case, is definitely NOT a good thing. i took the advice of one of the scammers i talked to recently, searched on google, and found this, which i have substantially modified, made more clear, and made LESS “Apple-centric”, which i hope everybody gets to see (although i am definitely not holding my breath, at this point).

after the normal “thank you for calling (whatever) support, my name is (whatever), how can i help you”, i started out with this:

HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU STEAL PEOPLES’ MONEY?

You receive a fake support alert. It emphasises an unknown, but pending transaction, or unauthorised login attempts.

You are immediately urged to call an unknown support number, in an unknown location. Scammers impersonate staff, and ask you for your user ID, password, and payment details “to secure your account.”

URGENCY IS THE KEY.

They gain access to your data. With that information, they can login to your account, change credentials, AND EVEN STEAL FUNDS.

So, I’m asking: HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN YOU STEAL PEOPLES’ MONEY?

and, this is what i mean when i say that they have gotten more ridiculous:

SCAMMER: <unintelligible> I steal the money… first of all we go to the church, okay? And then there’s jeezis, on the wall, and then we stand in front of the jeezis and then pray, then the son of Maryam, please give us the advantage to steal the money of the people. Ho ho ho jeezis!

so, now i’m wondering if he really believes this? if he really DOES this?? if he really expects ME to believe it? does he think it is going to offend me? or prove his superiority to me? and how does he expect me to respond?

art projects, budgies, diverticulitis, poop, spam, spam text messages

UPD

it’s weird… i can login using my linux box, but for some reason, i CAN’T login on my tablet, despite entering the same password, and my authenticator app LIVES ON my tablet… i think, ultimately, it’s going to take turning off 2FA, and then turning it back on, but i don’t want to do that… yet. 😒

260217 - Cookie Monster, Oscar The Grouch, Bert, Ernie
260217 – Cookie Monster, Oscar The Grouch, Bert, Ernie
we got two new budgies to go with our two less-new budgies. we’re naming them after characters on sesame street, because two of them (ernie and bert) “interact with the public” — i.e. they are “clinic pets” at the clinic monique works at — so calling them tony and tommy was… less desirable. 😉
260219 - Bert, Ernie, Oscar The Grouch, Cookie Monster
260219 – Bert, Ernie, Oscar The Grouch, Cookie Monster
the new ones are oscar and cookie monster — green and blue — to go with ernie and bert — “violet” (which looks blue to me) and yellow — and i’ve actually got sesame street finger puppets from when i was, probably, 10 to 12 years old…so, now we have a whole flock of budgies, which is good, because budgies live in flocks (in australia) in the wild, so that helps.

i’ve got another flare-up of “smoldering” diverticulitis. i recognise the symptoms in time to go get medication for it without going to the hospital, now, but it royally sucks having constant diarrhea. fortunately, unlike the last time, i am NOT in the middle of a performance, and my circus and unicycle classes are on break this week, so the “have to be out in public” parts of it are a lot less, but it doesn’t make it even the slightest bit more tolerable. 😒

the mornings full of spam text messages are back in full swing: anywhere from three to ten spam text messages between 06:00 and 11:00 or so, about 5 days out of 7. i now have over 1,200 blocked phone numbers on my phone, but that doesn’t stop ’em from coming up with new ones, every single day. and, i’m sorry to say that, at least they’ve got one thing right: americans, by and large, are the dumbest people i have ever met, and, if it is possible, i’m pretty sure they WOULD give scammers their money of their own accord, because, no kidding, folks, these scams are THE MOST OBVIOUS… messages from “8P-P-le Support” and “Ap-p-le support”, messages that contain the words “PrivacY, PoliCY”, messages from “Apple” with return addresses in Cork, Ireland, and a phone number in Rosco, Illinois, messages that claim “Your Apple ID was used at CHILD PORNOGRAPHY WEB SITE” which assure me that “Your IP will be BLACK LISTED SOON”, the person answering the “Apple support” line telling me that his name is “James T. Kirk”… the worst are the messages allegedly from “PayPal” which don’t address me by my full name, which is one of the things legitimate PayPal does to assure you that it is not a spam-scam. seriously! have you EVER known paypal to CALL YOU??? jeez! 🙄

one would really think that people would get the idea, eventually… 🙄

i’m reporting every single one to the phone company, apple, and the federal government, but none of them has resulted in THE SLIGHTEST decrease in their occurrence. 😒

finally, here’s some relatively new art:

260214 the deception pass bridge
260214 the deception pass bridge

busking, panto, players, poop

drng th pst wk

i’m more or less over diverticulitis. i’m still being cautious about what, and how much, i eat, but i actually went a whole week without shitting myself, even once, so that’s something… 😒

once again, our outstanding understudy, chochi, came to the rescue. this time it was no less a personage than macque, one of the founders of the troupe, who plays the lead rôle of “the dame” (in our case, she’s “Esmerelda, The Good Fairy”) who lost his voice, and so chochi stepped up, into a rôle that is NORMALLY played by a man-dressed-as-a-woman… chochi is a somewhat androgynous person, and i don’t know them well enough to posit at their pronouns, but it APPEARS that they were a woman-dressed-as-a-man-dressed-as-a-woman. once again, she had the book in her hand for the first show, and she did the next three shows completely off book, and she only screwed up one line. 👍👍 i have this fantasy of, one day, performing in a group of actors and musicians who know their material SO WELL that they can, literally, change rôles at a moment’s notice, and not have any difficulties. 😉

this coming weekend is the last four shows of this cycle. then we’ll start gearing up for the moisture festival, and the summer’s panto, which has yet to be decided upon.

we’re going busking tomorrow. last wednesday we busked and made over $50 A PIECE for one hour of busking. the hope is that this week will be similar, as it’s the day before a major holiday. i have had to listen to a surprisingly small amount of “xmas” music, this year, but that is, largely, because i don’t subscribe to any streaming services, and, for the most part, i don’t listen to music on my phone, except for music that i already own: i’ve got 3 days of .mp3s on itunes, and just under 1 TB of mostly .flac files on my NAS, which i can access from any of MY devices (computer, phone, tablet). and i have successfully “tuned out” the muzak i experience in grocery stores and suchlike. maybe my attitude will change, next year, but, this year, i am really against all forms of “xmas” cheer. let’s get rid of #drumpf and his cronies, and then we can talk about re-introducing “xmas” — particularly “xmas” music — into my reality again. 😒 even VEWPRF is pushing it.

panto, poop

during the past week…

i appear to be getting over diverticulitis — AGAIN — i’m no longer experiencing bouts of lower-gut pain 30 seconds to a minute or so before i have to rush to the bathroom or else i shit my pants, and i am experiencing FEWER “shit-my-pants emergency” trips to the bathroom, although they are still somewhat frequent, and i have A BIT more control over them, for SLIGHTLY longer than i had last week. i’m still on a more-or-less restricted diet, which is largely liquid, although solid food has become a daily occurrence again, and it hasn’t caused any visible backlash.

…

i’ll be VERY GLAD when i no longer have to worry about things like this, over which i have VERY LITTLE control, affecting my body. 😒

…

the panto is selling out. we have two more weekends (eight total shows), and, so far, they have either been sold out, or mostly sold out before they even opened the box office. the tail-end of the donkey did something wrong, and hit his head (or something like that, i never heard the details), so the understudy was supposed to play the tail-end of the donkey, but then King Oswald Montegue (played by newbie shelley douma) lost her voice, but was, otherwise, feeling fine (a common malady for someone who took on a leading role without much advance preparation or training), so she took over the donkey-ass position, and the understudy (Chochi Smiley?) took over the King’s part, and she actually did really well, including the songs. it’s really good to have an understudy who actually KNOWS ALL the parts! 👍👍

thursday is xmas. thursday is also the day when the trash-collectors normally make their rounds. i’m going to bet that they’re going to bump it to friday, but i haven’t heard anything, yet.

clarice, house stuff, moe, moe's mom, poop

during the past week…

i’ve been dealing with diverticulitis, which means, largely, a liquid diet, and having to shit all the time, sometimes suddenly, and (occasionally) explosively, which is VERY INCONVENIENT… particularly if it is in the morning, before a performance for which the venue isn’t open yet… 🤬😖😒😠🤬 which resulted in my having to sit in my own shit the entire day, through two performances, and pretend that everything is fine. 😵 i have had to get one of my suits professionally cleaned… 😒

i hope i never have to do that again. i would literally rather DIE than have to experience that again. one of the things that my counselor has pointed out to me, is that i have “unresolved grief” because i DIDN’T DIE when i had my brain injury… something i am still trying to wrap my head around… 😖😵

ON TOP OF THAT clarice died (she was a defective bird right from the start, so it wasn’t too surprising), but moe’s boss was so devastated by it that moe, somehow, came up with TWO parakeets (they’re actually budgerigars), which are, tentatively, named Tommy and Tony (after Tommy Chong, and Richard Anthony “Cheech” Marín), but, at the moment, are as yet unnamed. ON TOP OF THAT we’ve been experiencing an “atmospheric river”, which has resulted in widespread flooding that has included our back yard!!

251211 our flooded back yard
251211 our flooded back yard
ON TOP OF THAT, the day after thanksgiving, moe’s mom had an “altercation” with another resident of the old-folks home where she lives, which resulted in the other resident attacking her and another old lady. moe’s mom now has a severely bruised face, a black eye, and both arms in casts, which means that she can’t do important things like opening dog-food cans, which means that her dog (normally called “the unicorn”, but recently we have taken to calling her “the miniature tyrant”… her actual name is “Lacey”) has come to live with us, and we are in the beginning steps of filing a lawsuit against the facility, because the staff basically stood by, did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and waited for ANOTHER RESIDENT to step in and convince the guy to stop attacking… 😠

i’m not sure, and i don’t know all the details of the “altercation”, but i’m strongly betting that moe’s mom had at least something to do with the start of it. 😒

and ON TOP OF THAT moe has torn her meniscus AGAIN, which increases the likelihood that she will have to have BOTH KNEES REPLACED at some, hopefully, relatively soon point in time. 🤯

is that enough?

i will be REALLY glad when the universe STOPS attacking me. 😠

poop

diverticulitis

so, a couple of years ago, i was feeling increasingly poorly for a few days, and it turned out i have diverticulitis, and ended up in the hospital for a few days, as a result.

when i was in my early 20s, i had an experience with a family friend who had diverticulitis. this was before CT scans — the most common way of diagnosing such conditions, these days — were in common use, and there was a lot of “scientific guesswork” involved in both the diagnosis and treatment of these conditions. this family friend had been “prescribed” a diet of nothing but plain noodles and hard candy for a month, which i thought was both hilarious and ghastly, at the same time. the science of medicine has advanced A LOT in the past ≈45 years, for which i am VERY glad!

the risk factors for developing diverticulitis, these days, include “obesity, lack of exercise, smoking, a family history of the disease, and use of nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs). The role of a low fiber diet as a risk factor is unclear.” which, generally, does NOT describe me, although, these days, the doctors also say that it could just be “bad luck”, which is a little more understandable.

so, when i started developing symptoms that were ALARMINGLY similar to diverticulitis, again, yesterday, i went into full protection mode, which includes informing my lovely wife, who gave me some “dog antibiotics” (she just “happened” to have them around, in her “dog first aid kit”), because the last two “rehearsals” for the panto are wednesday (today), and thursday (tomorrow), and the rehearsal tomorrow actually has an audience, despite the fact that it is a “dress rehearsal”, and the show starts “for real” on saturday… and i have ALREADY had to bail on the panto because i got sick at the last POSSIBLE moment, once, so it feels REALLY BAD to have to bail on them AGAIN. 😠

the good news is that i am already feeling ORDERS OF MAGNITUDE better, have a strong forward path which DOES NOT include the hospital, and i should be able to make the rehearsals and performances of the panto without further difficulties. 👍👍

health, poop

oh, btw…

i had my colonoscopy on 240809. i had a polyp removed, which tested normal. the doctor recommends another colonoscopy in ten years.

if medical science has increased as much in 10 years as it has in the past 10 years, i anticipate a far easier procedure than the one i just had… which was DRAMATICALLY easier than my previous colonoscopy (15 years ago) was…

it seems really odd that, not quite 3 months ago, i spent three days in the hospital with diverticulitis. the doctors have said that, while they can’t agree on what causes it, there’s a good chance that there’s a genetic component. but none of my relatives have had diverticulitis… that i know of… the doctors also said that it could just be “bad luck”, which i can definitely believe.

depression, health, poop, stress

ooof!!

i spent all last week in various amounts of almost non-existent to moderate lower abdominal pain, which i initially thought was constipation, and i was treating it as though that was what was causing it.

i spent thursday night in increasing amounts of severe gut pain, alternately in bed, not sleeping, or in the bathroom, trying (and failing) to poop, so friday morning as soon as they opened (08:00) i went to urgent care, which, after poking and prodding my increasingly painful gut for what seemed like extended periods of time, recommended that i go to the emergency room for tests and procedures to which they didn’t have access, at urgent care…

my preference would have been to eliminate this step, entirely, but, whatever…

🙄😒

so i went across the street to the emergency room, where they poked and prodded my gut, took a CT scan of my lower abdomen, and came back to inform me that i have diverticulitis, and recommended that i be admitted to the hospital immediately. 💀

this all happened on friday morning, between 08:00 and 10:30. 🤬

i spent friday night, and saturday night in the hospital. they discharged me on sunday morning, and i spent last night at home.

i am REALLY glad that medical knowledge has increased in the 40 years since i first heard of diverticulitis, because they DON’T have me eating white rice, noodles, and hard candy for a month (like they did for jane vosk, when i was 20), but i still need to be “careful” what i eat for the next couple of weeks, i am taking oral (and awful-tasting) antibiotics twice a day for the next two weeks, and they recommend a diet that is (possibly) higher in fiber than i have been eating after that to prevent future flare-ups.

i would like to state, categorically, for the record, that hospitals SUCK!!!… as thaddeus says, “i love doctors, i love nurses, i love aides, i love lab techs, i even love janitors, but i HATE hospitals!!”

oh, and i have to see my PCP soon (which means that i actually have to CHOOSE a PCP — again — because neither dr. wacka-loon, nor the one after him, came EVEN CLOSE to making the cut), and i have to see a GI doc within the next couple of months to have a colonoscopy…

whee… 😒

once again, i am forced to wonder why they didn’t just let me die when i had the chance. woulda’ saved everyone an awful lot of grief and money. 😒

frustration, health, poop

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

thursday, i had a rehearsal. i got home, felt normal, and went to bed.

friday, i woke up and didn’t feel so hot. by friday afternoon, i was flat on my back, except for when i had to rush to the bathroom to vomit, have diarrhɶa, or both, which continued until sunday, when i went to the emergency clinic to find out what was wrong: Influenza-A. 🤮

they prescribed two medications: an anti-emetic, and an anti-diarrhɶal medication. when moe went to the pharmacy to pick it up, because of the fact that my primary insurance is medicare, they wanted to charge $350.00, but they said that both medications were available, over the counter, at safeway for $17.50…

so moe went to safeway.

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬… etc…

monday was even worse: i had to have 2 liters of intravenous fluids pumped into me, because i was not getting better, and nothing i did would make the vomiting and diarrhɶa go away. at that point, i hadn’t even EATEN anything for 4 days, and i was starting to wonder if i was ever going to get better. the IV line did it, i made a “miraculous” recovery — meaning that, tuesday, i was well enough to hobble short distances without passing out, and the vomiting and diarrhɶa had mostly vanished.

wednesday (today) i am doing better, but i still have to take things in stages, and i have to rest A LOT… i have to rest A LOT because, tomorrow, i have to be a fluffer at the moisture festival, and, also, if i don’t rest A LOT i pass out… seriously, i can’t walk more than a few dozen steps before i am panting and out of breath.

two things to take away from this experience are:

1) ALWAYS get a flu shot!!! from now on, every year, i’m getting a flu shot. this is not something i want to experience more than once!

along the same lines, i really should get a shingles vaccination, as well: i had chicken-pox when i was 16, and thought i’d never have to worry about it again, but moe got shingles a few years ago, and she was miserable. a shingles vaccination is a really easy way to prevent that sort of thing from happening to me…

and, 2)… this is important:

WE ABSOLUTELY MUST GET CRIMINAL DRUMPF AND HIS CRIMINAL CRONIES OUT OF OFFICE, BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE AND THE WORLD IS DESTROYED!!!

my impression is that America is on it’s way to being the worst it has ever been. America won’t even start to be remotely considered for “greatness” again until he and his whole cadre of criminals are impeached… and, America can take the first tentative steps towards applying for greatness by indicting, convicting, and imprisoning drumpf for the rest of his life, and longer! 🤬

i would rant more, but that is exhausting, and now i have to go lie down.

🤬

philharmonic, poop, printing stuff, SACBO, snake suspenderz / alive

update

i’ve been working on a business card, but i’ve needed important things like the location of hi-res images and the names of the fonts and stuff like that before i can actually create anything… which means waiting for them to get back to me… of course, once i actually have all those things it took me about 15 minutes to put together a business card that is like the example they sent me, and now i’ve got to wait (again) for the customer to either approve the card, or make changes… and, being that it’s a business card for an artist, if there are changes, they’ll most likely want something exotic, unusual and expensive…

we had a snake suspenderz rehearsal on tuesday. it’s really great to play with the guys again, but i’m afraid that, once we’re through with the (one) gig that we’ve got scheduled so far (28th june, at the can can) the band will fade from existence again… and, as much as some people complain that it’s a “hobby band”, i get the very strong feeling that it could very easily be a good deal more than that. we’re going to be playing for SACBO on saturday and sunday. i have my canopy, and i’m going to be there anyway, because of my art car, so i figured what the hell… we can busk, and because of the fact that it’s the fremont solstice festival, we’ll probably make some money, and it’s a couple more “rehearsals” before we have to do it “for real” at the can can…

i decided that, because of the fact that SACBO is imminent, and because of the fact that the continued working existence of the current Ganesha The Car is still very much in question (it’s still working – touch wood – but who knows whether or not it’ll be working tomorrow, much less next week), i decided that i was going to put “freeform” art on it, and save the complicated design work for a car that i have confidence is going to last me a little bit longer. i haven’t taken any pictures of it, yet, but it vaguely resembles this drawing from my sketchbook. it’s not nearly as “artistic” (read “exotic and unusual”) as i would like it to be, but it will have to do for the time being.

we had a fremont phil rehearsal on wednesday. there was a rehearsal last week, as well, but i was in the middle of preparing for my colonoscopy last week, so i didn’t go to that one. the phil has taken off in a new direction, which is interesting and intriguing, and not entirely unwelcome. we’ve gotten a couple of new flutists, a new trumpet player and the baritone player and the EWI player from last year, who are all dedicated musicians and very interested in moving forwards with the group. we’re playing a private “ice cream social” near edmonds on the 23rd, and we’re sounding surprisingly good, considering the small amount of rehearsal we’ve had.

speaking of the colonoscopy, the results arrived yesterday. the other two polyps that i had removed were benign as well, and there’s nothing to worry about, but they want to see inside my ass again in two years, rather than the three that they told me originally, because of the fact that the polyps were there to begin with.

getting old, health, poop

retrograde amnesia?

so i had my colonoscopy yesterday. when i went to my “introductory” appointment, about 2 weeks ago, they told me that i would be under a general anesthetic that would cause “retrograde amnesia”, but then they couldn’t answer my questions satisfactorily about whether or not that meant that i would “lose memories of things that haven’t happened yet” — “amnesia” implies “loss of memories of things that have already happened” and “retrograde” implies “moving backwards”… “moving backwards” from “things that have happened in the past” implies that it affects “memories of the future” and i still can’t figure out why they think i should have memories of things that haven’t happened yet… — but i think i am beginning to get the idea of what they were actually talking about, because while i was experiencing them, i was conscious and more-or-less rational, but now that they are in the past, i’m losing track of what i actually did, the sequence of events, and pretty much everything that happened yesterday. at this point, not even 24 hours separate from the actual events, i’m having distinct difficulties remembering conversations that i was a part of yesterday, even before i was anesthetised…

the event, itself, was pretty uneventful, but the day before was pretty miserable. the day before was complicated by a clear-liquids fast, a gallon of orange-flavoured salt-water, and many, many, MANY trips to the bathroom. yesterday was a “nothing by mouth” day, so i was extra hungry, but the clinic called in the morning and rescheduled my appointment from 2:30 to 1:00, so i wouldn’t have to wait as long. i took a cab to the clinic, because they weren’t going to allow me to drive after the procedure – because of the “retrograde amnesia” – and from then on it gets a little hazy… i remember getting undressed, getting on the gurney, being rolled into the procedure room and being asked to roll on to my left side… and that’s it.

i then sort of vaguely remember waking up, getting dressed and going to another part of the clinic where they had some “comfy recliners” to “recover” on… i don’t remember whether or not moe came in, or whether they escorted me to the car… i remember, even then, wondering when the “retrograde amnesia” was going to start kicking in… i remember complaining about how tired i was, despite the fact that it was still early afternoon… moe made a stop before we got home, and bought some “immediate” food, and when we got home, i remember her putting before me, a very large plate of some REALLY yummy food (mostly carbohydrates, so that i wouldn’t get pancreatitis from trying to digest fried food on a truly empty stomach… but i do seem to recall a disassembled skewer of meat and vegetables in there, as well) which i DEMOLISHED… then, i remember going to bed around 8:30.

i woke up this morning at about 8:00 and immediately noticed that i’m still REALLY TIRED — as though i had spent the previous day running a marathon, or something like that… seriously, i’m thinking of taking a nap, and i hardly ever take naps (i find them to be really confusing when i wake up and it’s the middle of the afternoon)…

i think the most significant part of the whole thing for me, at this point, is the realisation that i can actually eat stuff again… nuts… i can eat almonds for the first time in a week! and when the stuff in the pantry or the refrigerator calls to me, i can eat it and not resist… and i don’t have to drink that orange-flavoured salt-water goo every 15 minutes…

oh, the result of my colonoscopy? they removed 3 polyps, one of which they said was benign but the other two are going to have to wait for biopsies. also they said i have two hemorrhoids, which were the cause of the occult recal bleeding that was a cause for concern prior to the procedure.

as the song says, “what a drag it is getting old”… 😐

depression, health, poop, workshop

day of depression and diarrhea

today moe left for a weekend camping trip sheepdog trial, which involves her camping out for a few nights near camas. she took all of the dogs with her, but i felt like cold ass when she got up (at 6:00 in the morning) to leave, and due to the fact that, despite the fact that she had been telling me about this for months, i “didn’t remember” it was happening until yesterday, which meant that along with feeling like cold ass, i was in a pretty depressed state of mind, and that’s not to mention the fact that i had a headache – and i very rarely get headaches, which is kind of odd for someone that has had an AVM. so i woke up depressed, feeling like ass, with a headache and moe is leaving. i went back to sleep (a feat in and of itself, all things considered), and when i woke up the headache was mostly gone, but moe was gone too. 🙁

i have been making a list of things i need to remember recently, and i had a few things that i needed to get for the workshop, so i went out and did my list stuff. i was finishing up at home depot when my stomach did one of those growls that indicates immediate, uncontrolable pooping – which has been an on-again-off-again problem that they told me to watch out for at the hospital after my injury. they just mentioned it in passing, so i didn’t give much thought to it at the time, but every now and then i’m struck with sudden, almost explosive diarrhea for no apparent reason, and it struck as i was checking out at the home depot this afternoon. i don’t think anybody else noticed, but i was glad that it was my last stop, because i would have had to go home, take a shower and change clothes pretty much regardless. 🙁

i actually felt the depression slip away, though, once i got home (and once i got cleaned up). i did some desperately needed work in the workshop which resulted in five new shelves and a second work space, so that now i can work on two projects at once and not have to put stuff away from one project before starting on another one. i’m feeling subdued and tired, but, as i told moe, i don’t have that “nasty, kill the whole world and then commit suicide” feeling any more.