- 1. Seatown — neither a town nor on the sea.
- 2. Jet City — hereafter minus jets.
- 3. The Emerald City, take 2 — somewhere between rain drenched poppy fields, androids, and electric sheep.
- 4. Eight months of winter rain and unemployment dying to teach your sorry Midwestern ass that Seasonal Affective Disorder is all that stands between you and meeting Kurt Cobain in person.
Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
-- Kissing Hank's Ass
i thought i was fairly clear about my disapproval of “K2″ and suchlike stuff, but this makes me wonder how muddied my explanation might be, without my knowing it…
i got an email (for a change, most people call me with questions of this nature, which may be a sign that i overlooked) which said “Do you sell anything like K2?”. i responded with a link to the page mentioned above — http://www.hybridelephant.com/K2.php — and figured that would be the last i would hear from that particular potential customer…
which is fine with me, as far as i’m concerned. if someone wants to go out and poison themselves, instead of taking a substance that has never killed ANYBODY in recorded history*, i’m certainly not going to stand in their way, but i’m also certainly NOT going to sell them the poison, and i’m going to do my best to inform them that the substance they want to take, is, in fact poisonous, but if they’re still dead set, i’m not going to stand in their way…
but this is where it gets weird. i logged in this morning and found a response. the guy had written me back, and said “I checked the link but I didn’t see K2 for sale. Can you advise?”
so i responded, yet again:
the reason you didn’t see it is because it is not available from Hybrid Elephant. i do not sell things that are deadly poisonous if you ingest them.
if you want cannabis, go out and buy cannabis, don’t buy some erzatz knock-off
that might kill you. you’ll get ripped off, at the very least.
that’s my advice.
i hope that’s clear enough for him…
because if he writes me again, i’m going to LMAO at him…
ETA: he wrote back… LMAO! apparently he “can’t find cannabis” where he lives… it’s my guess that he’s too young to know where to look to begin with. either that or he simply hasn’t looked hard enough.
* i know there are spurrious reports of people who were using cannabis and died in a car crash, or that sort of thing, but, technically, those people didn’t die as a result of using cannabis, they died because of a car crash. the LD50 for THC is 1,270 mg/kg, which works out to over 115 grams of THC (not “of cannabis”) for a 200 pound person, in a limited period of time… which is not possible in this universe… seriously, more than 10 grams of cannabis in a limited period of time, and the 200 pound person that i am familiar with would most likely be asleep, and unable to ingest any more…
in reality, there have been no deaths that come about as a direct result of using cannabis by a human being, in recorded history.
one rehearsal monday, two rehearsals tuesday, a gig friday, a gig saturday and, possibly a gig sunday… this week…
i got two traffic tickets yesterday. one i can make go away by sending in a copy of my current insurance card (the old one expired a couple weeks ago, and i haven’t got the new one installed yet). the other one i can either pay, or pay close to the same amount to have it “deferred” for a year, during which time i have to get no other traffic tickets (which shouldn’t be a problem), and then it, too, “goes away”…
it strikes me as a not-so-sneaky way of getting the taxpayers to pay for things that their taxes should already pay for, but i’m on the receiving end of their “benificence” this time, so i really shouldn’t complain… too much…